OT: Five Reasons to Forgive

[Garritan]

My wife showed me this article from the January issue of Harvard Women's Health Watch (http://www.health.harvard.edu/hhp/article/content.do?name=WN0105p) and I thought I would pass it along.

This article explores the scientific and medical perspective of forgiveness rather than a religious or philosophical point of view. According to the article, forgiving those who hurt you can improve your mental and physical well-being. The article also provides an exercise to help you learn how to forgive.

"Forgiving means letting go of anger or resentment, sometimes accompanied by greater empathy for the point of view of the person who has harmed us." The article asserts that forgiving is a skill you can hone, and that granting forgiveness may actually do more for you than the person you forgive. The article discusses the following five positive health effects of forgiving that have been scientifically studied:




Reduced stress. Researchers found that mentally nursing a grudge puts your body through the same strains as a major stressful event: Muscles tense, blood pressure rises, and sweating increases.
Better heart health. One study found a link between forgiving someone for a betrayal and improvements in blood pressure and heart rate, and a decreased workload for the heart.
Stronger relationships. A 2004 study showed that those who were able to forgive their spouses and feel benevolent toward them resolved conflicts more effectively.
Reduced pain. A small study on people with chronic back pain found that those who practiced meditation focusing on converting anger to compassion felt less pain and anxiety than those who received regular care.
Greater happiness. When you forgive someone, you make yourself—rather than the person who hurt you—responsible for your happiness. One survey showed that people who talk about forgiveness during psychotherapy sessions experience greater improvements than those who don’t. "
I realize it is a bit off-topic, but thought it would make for an interesting discussion. Music reflects life and if life can be made better then this may help.

Gary Garritan

[Houston Haynes]

I'm not so good at forgiving, but I compensate by being highly forgetful - just ask my wife. (What dear, you asked me to take out the trash this morning?) So, it works out in the wash. I simply don't have the wherewithal to hold a grudge. :D

[Joseph Burrell]

Interesting... Reminds me of a book I own, 'Making love last forever' or some such rot.

I'm still holding grudges from 4 years ago. How's that for hard headed? Maybe that's why I only smile one the third Wednesday of every other month.

[Shazbot]

Reminds me of a good quote (not sure by who) - Resentment is like drinking a bottle of poison and expecting someone else to die.

Forgiveness is sometimes easier to say than do, though, that's for sure...

[imagegod]

To the degree that we are obsessed with the future and past through fear and guilt, so do we limit our ability to effectively act in the present. The more energy spent on obsessions, the less energy we have to change ourselves in the present. And 'change', as the manifestation of all potential solutions, takes place only in the present.

In order to reduce and remove the limitations of fear and guilt, we must accept our future and forgive our past. To the degree that we are able to accept and forgive our future and past, so are we free to act effectively in the present; so are we free to passionately commit ourselves to solutions in the present. Thus Love is defined as: acceptance, forgiveness and committment.

Love is the beginning of true structure. Music is the artistic representation of this structure.

Rock on! :D

[Styxx]

I usually can find something witty and funny to say but just can't come up with anything. I hope you will forgive me? :D
No really, easy now watch it now wait! Don't go too far too fast too soon!
This is an important part of my life and always has been. I've found out through hard knocks of life that forgiving was a way to release myself from the jail it can build around ones life. Letting go of the anger or grudge sets one free to be him or herself and think clear again! Besides, most people that anger or do something to hurt you really don't have a clue as to what they are doing. Except, once a person stole my pickle out of my Big Mac and I'll tell you if I ever run into that person again I'll ... I'll ... I'll ... offer him another pickle because that dude was huge!:eek:
So, what's the point in this anyway? Who's big idea was to post this ridiculous topic and where did you put my last thingy I lent you twelve months ago young man! Who put this, what did you say! What gorilla! Give me back my pizza you selfish fish of a water burdened creature and where is that who stole my why did you and don't call me! Ooooooooo I hates them rabbits! That's it! I'm not talking to you anymore! Get out! I never want to see you again as long as it gets! Wait, I forgive you....Kissy kissy:D

[Frederick]

Forgiveness is freedom. Those who don't forgive place the object of their wrath in a self-constructed prison of hate of their own design. Problem is, they too are in the same prison in the role of warden. Misery results for both the warden and the prisoner - both are trapped. Solution? Find a way to free the prisoners and free ourselves in the process - for we have better things to spend our energy on - like being creative, which is made far more difficult when we're under the influence of resentment.

Great topic.

[Styxx]

Great topic. Come on gimme a break, great topic. Who you trying to kid? Great topic and all that jive cosmic debris! Let's take this up on the chat tonight! Why I outta ....! Grape topic, indeed. No one said anything about Grapes! My god what's gotten over everyone here? Chill will ya, it's only Friday and I am starting to feel crazier than ever bethree or six!

No, rally I do. Rally.

[Styxx]

Love is the beginning of true structure. Music is the artistic representation of this structure. Oh pleeezzzzzz! Music is just a way for us lazy bums to get out of woik! :D
Yeah, wanna make somepin out of it? Well, do ya, punk? :D

Me, I like jazzercise! It keeps me girlish figure and all the girls are mad at me because of it!

No really Gary, a fine topical antibiotical post!

[Beckers]

Gary, There is scientific evidence that practicing compassionate thinking increases happiness. E.g. one series of experiments (a link was posted by charles on the OT forum) measured brain activity in subjects meditating on compassion. It showed high activity in the part of the brain engaged in the feelings of happiness, contentment and sense of wellbeing. Furthermore this response was much higer in subjects who practiced this regularly. The converse must also be true.

Compassion, love, anger and jealousy arise more intensively and more often, the more often we generate them. I believe this underlies the observation that people who practice a religion or philosophy which holds concern for others as central, and practice true compassion and forgiveness as a matter of course, lead a much higher quality of life. They are happier, more fulfilled and healthier.

[Toonyfish]

........you selfish fish of a water burdened creature........


What??? What'd I do this time????? :p


Toonyfish

[Styxx]

What??? What'd I do this time????? :p


Toonyfish
:D :D :D

[SteveHanlon]

Another interesting question is that even if it's wise to forgive, is it any easier to do so? What steps does one take to make forgiveness happen on an experiential level (after we've come to the intellectual realization that it's helpful and wonderful, wise etc.).

How does one walk the talk without fooling oneself.

"Yeah I forgive him....The bastard can't help being that way."