Various Text Generators --

[KE Peace]

One day when I have time, I'll program an automatic critique generator. Where do those guys learn to TALK like that?? They're worse than lawyers and doctors


That brings back fond memories .. my first (and AFAIK only) radio appearance was a recording of my quartet, accompanied by these kind words: "The next composition was obviously done by a self-taught, naive amateur"

Matt, what a nasty announcer! i never had that happen (no radio appearances! but i did bring a cd to a local classical station. i was dressed somewhat gypsy-like. i was so new to this all that i didn't know how to characterize my music. "classical fusion" i said. classical fusion? the guy (who was an announcer) said suspiciously. I could feel the vibes along the lines of "there's no way this chick writes real music"! :)
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A Name for Your Band (funny!): http://www.elsewhere.org/bandname/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/bandname/)

Postmodernist scholarly essay generator: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/)
Sample:
If one examines semanticist objectivism, one is faced with a choice: either accept the cultural paradigm of reality or conclude that the media is capable of significance, given that the premise of postcapitalist deappropriation is valid. It could be said that Lacan uses the term ‘realism’ to denote the fatal flaw, and hence the stasis, of subdeconstructive sexual identity. A number of deconstructions concerning not materialism per se, but postmaterialism may be revealed.

Brags: http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/brag/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/brag/)

HP Lovecraft-style story generators: http://www.darkicon.com/lovecraft.htm (http://www.darkicon.com/lovecraft.htm)

Shakespearean insults:
http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html (http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html)

Enjoy, "Thou surly fool-born fustilarian!"

Karen

[Raymond62]

Nice, very nice all links.

"Thou weedy urchin-snouted harpy!"


Haven't the faintest idea what it means but it rolls well from the tongue.:D :D

Raymond

[Matthew S Phillips]

LOL. I didn't think urchins had snouts.

[efiebke]

I LOVE it!!! LOL!

Really like the Shakespearean insults. Gosh! I could spend hours just clicking away at the Insult Me icon. . . LOL! :p

Thou droning ill-breeding ratsbane!

Thou craven fool-born baggage!

Thou beslubbering earth-vexing haggard!

Thou frothy sheep-biting strumpet!

Thou mammering flap-mouthed flirt-gill!

:p

Thanks for posting the cool links, Karen! :D

Ted

[trentpmcd]

A Name for Your Band (funny!): http://www.elsewhere.org/bandname/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/bandname/)

Hi. I’m in a prog rock band that has a hard-core punk side. We started off calling ourselves Six Mirrors and Their Poodle, but got sued by some dog owners, so we decided it was time for a new name. Of course we went through the usual – The Candle Racket, Viscous Politics, motherbox, Two Turgid Dogs, Axe Factor and (way too obvious) Confederate Lake. For one reason or another, none of these seemed appropriate, so we tried to go for something that really describes us, something that would BE us. The Good Garden Experience was almost a go, but then we were sidetracked by Grace Vera and the Des Moines Irregulars. The argument ended with us calling ourselves A Basket of Women. The next day we ran into another band with that name and so were back to square one.

Final we settled on Two Motors with Sheep.

We release our first album tomorrow. Look for it in a record store near you.
:D


I know it is way too ‘90s, but I am surprised this generator didn't throw in some random numbers like: "drool bucket 237" or "Fan-dango 8". Maybe "Barf 183", "Candlestick 19", "Adam 7" or "Mauve 6". (All from this paragraph are my own creation (as the parodies should tell you) and not generated.)

[SeanHannifin]

Postmodernist scholarly essay generator: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/)
Sample:
If one examines semanticist objectivism, one is faced with a choice: either accept the cultural paradigm of reality or conclude that the media is capable of significance, given that the premise of postcapitalist deappropriation is valid. It could be said that Lacan uses the term ‘realism’ to denote the fatal flaw, and hence the stasis, of subdeconstructive sexual identity. A number of deconstructions concerning not materialism per se, but postmaterialism may be revealed.

Now I know how some of my professors wrote their textbooks...

Great links! :D

[reberclark]

A Name for Your Band (funny!): http://www.elsewhere.org/bandname/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/bandname/)

Postmodernist scholarly essay generator: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/)


Brags: http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/brag/ (http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/brag/)

HP Lovecraft-style story generators: http://www.darkicon.com/lovecraft.htm (http://www.darkicon.com/lovecraft.htm)

Shakespearean insults:
http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html (http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html)



Karen, wow I loved these - the band name generator alone is hilarious - I took a few for future percussion ensemble pieces!

I've loved H.P.L. since high school.

Thou abstemious flagrant wench!

[Skysaw]

Many years ago I used to work in a record store. As a prank when I left, I created a fake CD by the non-existent band "The Tetherball Mummies." I put a price on it, and inserted into the collections. It was still there a week later when I went to visit. :D

[suspenlute]

The Shakespeare text generator is pretty tame for the guy who once said...

A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition. Whoreson, cullionly, barber-monger! You cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a tailor made thee. Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or a painter could not have made thee so ill, though they had been but two hours o’ the trade. Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! A plague upon your epileptic visage!

Nonetheless, I was entertained. ;)

-Chris

[Aziraphal]

I'm definitely writing an automatic music critic one day. I'm collecting the gems of dadaistic poetry that respected Slovenian critics spew out; all I need is find some free hours to code the brain. (finding the free hours is the tricky part for me :)

I wish I could translate some of them but could never do them justice.

[Leaf]

ROFL, Karen, that Postmodernist scholarly essay generator is hilarious.

Thanks for posting these, they will be very handy.:)

[KE Peace]

The Shakespeare text generator is pretty tame for the guy who once said...

A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition. Whoreson, cullionly, barber-monger! You cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a tailor made thee. Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or a painter could not have made thee so ill, though they had been but two hours o’ the trade. Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! A plague upon your epileptic visage!

Nonetheless, I was entertained. ;)

-Chris

So Chris, who was that guy? You or someone else? I just gotta know :p Pretty complete!!:D

I like your other quotes, too -- the Mozart one made me think of how many times I think "I better do more in the brass, because I don't want the poor fellows to get bored playing this piece!" [wait, wait, wait BLARE! wait, wait BLATT!, etc]

Karen

[KE Peace]

LOL. I didn't think urchins had snouts.

it should have read SPOUTS....
or if he mean a street urchin, POUTS:p

[KE Peace]

Nice, very nice all links.

"Thou weedy urchin-snouted harpy!"


Haven't the faintest idea what it means but it rolls well from the tongue.:D :D

Raymond

the roll is the important thing!

[KE Peace]

I LOVE it!!! LOL!

Really like the Shakespearean insults. Gosh! I could spend hours just clicking away at the Insult Me icon. . . LOL! :p

Thou droning ill-breeding ratsbane!

Thou craven fool-born baggage!

Thou beslubbering earth-vexing haggard!

Thou frothy sheep-biting strumpet!

Thou mammering flap-mouthed flirt-gill!

:p

Thanks for posting the cool links, Karen! :D

Ted

hi Ted, Whoa, slow down man! [hehehehe] you're not allowed to have that much fun!!! :D

[KE Peace]

Hi. I’m in a prog rock band that has a hard-core punk side. We started off calling ourselves Six Mirrors and Their Poodle, but got sued by some dog owners, so we decided it was time for a new name. Of course we went through the usual – The Candle Racket, Viscous Politics, motherbox, Two Turgid Dogs, Axe Factor and (way too obvious) Confederate Lake. For one reason or another, none of these seemed appropriate, so we tried to go for something that really describes us, something that would BE us. The Good Garden Experience was almost a go, but then we were sidetracked by Grace Vera and the Des Moines Irregulars. The argument ended with us calling ourselves A Basket of Women. The next day we ran into another band with that name and so were back to square one.

Final we settled on Two Motors with Sheep.

We release our first album tomorrow. Look for it in a record store near you.
:D




You really got sued by poodle-people? Seriously? Some people have no sense of humor! Two motors with sheep? Now that's avant-guarde! My mind keeps wanting to turn it around to Two motorized sheep or Two sheepish motors, but then that's just the way my twisted mind works....

[KE Peace]

Now I know how some of my professors wrote their textbooks...



Shhhhhh! not too loud! I hear the sound of diplomas throwing themselves off the walls in depair!!! :D

[KE Peace]

Karen, wow I loved these - the band name generator alone is hilarious - I took a few for future percussion ensemble pieces!

I've loved H.P.L. since high school.

Thou abstemious flagrant wench!

Now, how about a limerick generator? Or would that put us out of business?

[KE Peace]

Many years ago I used to work in a record store. As a prank when I left, I created a fake CD by the non-existent band "The Tetherball Mummies." I put a price on it, and inserted into the collections. It was still there a week later when I went to visit. :D

I can see you have a brilliant future in Marketing! ;)