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Larry G. Alexander
01-11-2010, 04:30 AM
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."

This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit and everything else and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

-Author Unknown-

Fishin Musician
01-11-2010, 05:23 AM
)(~
Thanks for getting my Monday off with a smile.

rbowser-
01-11-2010, 07:59 AM
HA! - That has to be the ultimate music joke, the ultimate punning joke too. Laughed! oh lORdy, Mercy!

Thanks, Larry!

Randy

reberclark
01-11-2010, 09:36 AM
Great stuff!

fabiolcati
01-11-2010, 09:42 AM
Not shure having understood everything - at least what my knowledge of english allowed - but I laughed so much people beside my desk says it's time to me to go off work!
Have a nice day!

efiebke
01-11-2010, 11:40 AM
Mr. Larry -

That's probably one of the COOLEST pun jokes that I read in a LONG while!

It's very, very punny. . . er. . . funny! :D

Thank you for the good humor!!

)(~ )(~ )(~

:)

Ted

Frank D
01-11-2010, 01:05 PM
Hey Larry,

Loved it ... great way to start another cold week in Yankee-land! :)

It reminded me of a great song title from someone you don't normally associate with humor ... Mingus:

"E's Flat, Ah's Flat Too".

Have a good one!

Regards,

Frank

Larry G. Alexander
01-11-2010, 03:13 PM
Thanks all for your responses.

Regards,

AlanPerkins
01-11-2010, 03:30 PM
Very good Larry. :)

BenNichols
01-11-2010, 05:09 PM
Awesome :) Must have taken some time to come up with!

DPDAN
01-11-2010, 06:47 PM
Not shure having understood everything - at least what my knowledge of english allowed -

another un-intentional pun :) not shure

http://www.shure.com/stellent/groups/public/@gms_gmi_web/documents/web_resource/site_image_super_55_l.jpg




Excellent Larry!

Larry G. Alexander
01-11-2010, 06:50 PM
Y'all,

This is not my original work. I am sorry that I did not make that clear.

The author is unknown.

Regards,

fabiolcati
01-12-2010, 04:44 AM
another un-intentional pun :) not shure
http://www.shure.com/stellent/groups/public/@gms_gmi_web/documents/web_resource/site_image_super_55_l.jpg

Touché. :)

Greetings

bionicbub
01-12-2010, 10:45 PM
Anonymous is the most prolific writer of all time.

DPDAN
01-12-2010, 11:32 PM
good one Fabio :)

Larry, I knew you weren't the original creator of it, I thought I had heard it before somewhere.

But I know we share the same type of humor!

Dan

Raymond62
01-13-2010, 09:52 AM
Recently I found another.

Efficiency

From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management Consultants
To: Chairman, The London Symphony Orchestra
Re: Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B minor.

After attending a rehearsal of this work we make the following observations and recommendations:

1. We note that the twelve first violins were playing identical notes, as were the second violins. Three violins in each section, suitably amplified, would seem to us to be adequate.

2. Much unnecessary labour is involved in the number of demisemiquavers in this work; we suggest that many of these could be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver thus saving practice time for the individual player and rehearsal time for the entire ensemble. The simplification would also permit more use of trainee and less-skilled players with only marginal loss of precision.

3. We could find no productivity value in string passages being repeated by the horns; all tutti repeats could also be eliminated without any reduction of efficiency.

4. In so labour-intensive an undertaking as a symphony, we regard the long oboe tacet passages to be extremely wasteful. What notes this instrument is called upon to play could, subject to a satisfactory demarcation conference with the Musician's Union, be shared out equitably amongst the other instruments.

Conclusion: if the above recommendations are implemented the piece under consideration could be played through in less than half an hour with concomitant savings in overtime, lighting and heating, wear and tear on the instruments and hall rental fees. Also, had the composer been aware of modern cost-effective procedures he might well have finished this work.

fabiolcati
01-14-2010, 04:21 AM
Hi Larry.

Very, very funny! :)

The dream of any impresario!

Greetings