• Register
  • Help
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Topic: Requesting a critique

  1. #1

    Requesting a critique

    I\'m working on a piece intended for the Neverwinter Nights community.. it\'s supposed to have a dungeon feel.. something evil dwelling within. Have a listen:


    I\'m unsure about the transition at 1:15... I have problems with that sort of stuff. I can come up with a melody and work with it for a while, but then it comes time when you just can\'t repeat/embellish anymore.. it\'s time for a transition. So I\'m sorta stuck.

    So, any critiques on this would be great! Thanks [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  2. #2

    Re: Requesting a critique


    Well it certainly has a dungeon feel to me with the ominous wordless chorus and menacing percussion so I think you\'ve accomplished your goal. Some general suggestions though...

    1.) After the 1:15 mark, add some variety. Perhaps alter the main melody by extending it as if the first 1:15 were the introduction to a different theme altogether. Key signature changes? Instrumental group changes? Emotion or mood changes? For example, I don\'t know what the scene is that you are scoring to in the video game, but imagine that after 1:15, the hero is nostalgic for home? A brief reprieve follows were the mood changes before returning to the menace? This can help the menace seem even more...menacing.

    2.) There is a repeat from 20-30 seconds that sounds too much like a repeat. For me, the best repeats are undetected. A suggestion, change at least one thing in the repeated version? How about the last chord being different, off key??

    3.) I think the chorus should breath a bit more. Perhaps take away a bit of the chorus to make it stand out more in a sense. Remember sometimes silence or restraint can be very powerful in music.

    4.) Add a surprise for the listener. How about crescendo leading to an unexpected key signature and altered instrumentation - high pitches instead or low pitches? Its an idea but I think it would really help your piece.

    5.) I think you do a good job painting the scene. Nice use of tremolos, tam-tam and bass clarinet.

    Please tell me what sample libraries you used. Overall, great job!

  3. #3

    Re: Requesting a critique

    my 2 cents:

    1)Bring choir down

    2) bring drums up and pan \'em right and left (need to be more spacious) When you\'re in a dungeon you\'re surrounded by the dank reverberation of doom...the stereo thunder of the drums will give that effect)

    3) strings have to come up with the drums, too

    4) transition - the only problem I hear is that you don\'t let the gong and drum die out before the strings enter. Let them die out and bring in the string at about 1:20

    Nice work. Hope the darkness of this piece can really shine through for ya.

    Good luck.

  4. #4

    Re: Requesting a critique

    One technique to help yourself over a transition is to establish some aspect of the new section within the end of the old section.

    I agree that the transition you mention sounds a little forced -- perhaps drop the tam-tam sound at the end of section 1 and instead establish the violin and/or bass clarinet sound?

    Also (IMO, of course) the beginning section sounds as if you are planning a rather sizeable chunk of music -- if the entire piece is to be only 2-3 minutes, maybe it should move forward more quickly.

    These are just impressions, ideas -- not meant as criticism.

  5. #5

    Re: Requesting a critique

    If GOS lite has pizzicato w/bartok use that in the beginning. Download SAM Flute FX that would also work perfect in that piece, to extend the beginning atleast. Use cello and bass crescendos in the beginning along with marching detache basses and cello coming in right after the crescendos fall. Also, I believe he is right - let the choir breath a little.

  6. #6

    Re: Requesting a critique


    All these suggestions are excellent (nice doom feel BTW)

    But if I could throw in a couple pennies...

    Try some high end \'contrapunctual\' ornaments (even triplets against the staight lower drums). Experiment with doing this with flutes, piccolos, or mallets - whatever you can get your hands on. It might help set the \'tension\' (think Hitchcock).

    Push the choir \'back\' deeper into the pit of darkness (wetter mix??).

    Listen to James Newton Howards \'Signs\' score, this may give you some other ideas.

    Very nice feel. Post it again.


  7. #7

    Re: Requesting a critique

    That is sinister! - is it VOTA or SOV?
    I think perhaps a reworking of the choir voices
    would help to clear it up a bit - the voiceleading
    seems a bit inconsistent, eg. the deep bass at 0:40 seems to appear out of nowhere.
    A suggestion for the transition:
    Try letting the da da da (now would\'nt it be
    nice to have score notation for html) rhythm of the big drums be continued by a muffled p snare drum. This will keep the kettle boiling in a
    subdued manner - until the beast arrives at the scene.
    Try listen to RVW 6 II, where he uses
    the same rhythm with snare - and that is surely
    one sinister piece of music.

    kind regards

  8. #8

    Re: Requesting a critique

    Thanks! I will take all this into consideration and work more on it, and repost..

    PS: Instruments used: VOTA mens choir, womens choir, demons choir. AO gran cassa, tam tam, bass clarinet; GOS Lite.

  9. #9

    Re: Requesting a critique

    I am always the bad guy here. I think the composition needs alot of things. Its very \"empty\". You need to cover it better in means of instrumentation. A dungeon is not an empty space - its actually a bit too vivid. Get that in the music. Make it alive. Right now its just \"playing along\" without breathing. You need to spark it up. Especially on the dynamics and orchestration. Need moods.

    Love - Chris

  10. #10

    Re: Requesting a critique

    Empty in what sense? I know it doesn\'t have a lot going on w/ instrumentation, but that\'s intentional.. the main focus is on the choir.

    I brought the drums up & lowered the choir, brought the strings up as well, EQ\'d the drums to give them more oomph and EQ\'d the strings to make them less muddy, a little more biting. Here\'s the result:


    I only listened to this in reference headphones, not my gaming speakers.. so I don\'t know if it\'s too bassy or not.

Go Back to forum

Tags for this Thread


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts