It starts well with the strings, the bass note comes in nicely, the oboes work well, I enjoyed the harp entry and the woodwinds with it later when it's plucking on those higher notes, and the harp is rhythimcally effective too... But then there's a sudden change! There are a few better moments later, but I personally think the change in style mid-piece is detrimental. You might call it a second theme but it's not really a theme as such. So, excellent beginning, the production is good too actually (but again in the section I don't like, overdone, too much thrashing on the percussion without syncopation). If the style of the earlier section could be applied consistently throughout, the piece would be markedly improved and, in fact, good. A different "B" section is really what it needs. Something more fitting. Anyway, please do more, music really counts for something!!
Beautifully produced and orchestrated! I think your thematic material is really excellent, which is over half the battle, imo. I would have loved to hear it further developed. It's almost as if you give us this incredible theme but you don't let us hear everything it can do. I think the first section alone can be developed into a 5-7 minute (or longer) movement of a larger work if you wanted to go down the route of writing a symphony. I think part of what makes the second section so sudden is the lack of development in the first section. The second section, again, is chock-full of great material that, as a listener, I wouldn't mind hearing more development of.
Maybe I just have symphonies on the brain, but I really hear the first section as the beginnings of a middle movement and the second section as the beginnings of a final movement. You just need a killer first movement to get it all started, then maybe another short movement or two in there that adds further variety and contrast while staying true to your style and its melodic germs
I think your greatest strength here is your thematic material and the sound is very impressive to my ear. REALLY good stuff!