Ordering Pizza in 2008:


>Operator: \"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
>number?\"
>
>Customer: \"Hi, I\'d like to place an order.\"
>
>Operator: \"I must have your NIDN first, sir?\"
>
>Customer: \"My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it\'s
>6102049998-45-54610.\"
>
>Operator: \"Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
>and the phone number\'s 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
>Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number\'s 266-2566. Email address is
>sheehan@ home.net. Which number are you calling from, sir?\"
>
>Customer: \"Huh? I\'m at home. Where d\'ya get all this information?\"
>
>Operator: \"We\'re wired into the HSS, sir.\"
>
>Customer: \"The HSS, what is that?\"
>
>Operator: \"We\'re wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
>only 15 seconds to your ordering time\"
>
>Customer: (Sighs) \"Oh, well, I\'d like to order a couple of your All-Meat
>Special pizzas.\"
>
>Operator: \"I don\'t think that\'s a good idea, sir.\"
>
>Customer: \"Whaddya mean?\"
>
>Operator: \"Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
>you\'ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
>National Health Care provider won\'t allow such an unhealthy choice.\"
>
>Customer: \"What?!?! What do you recommend, then?\"
>
>Operator: \"You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I\'m sure you\'ll like
>it.\"
>
>Customer: \"What makes you think I\'d like something like that?
>
>Operator: \"Well, you checked out \'Gourmet Soybean Recipes\' from your local
>library last week, sir. That\'s why I made the suggestion.\"
>
>Customer: \"All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.\"
>
>Operator: \"That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and
>your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.\"
>
>Customer: \"Lemme give you my credit card number.\"
>
>Operator: \"I\'m sorry sir, but I\'m afraid you\'ll have to pay in cash. Your
>credit card balance is over its limit.\"
>
>Customer: \"I\'ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
>gets here.\"
>
>Operator: \"That won\'t work either, sir. Your checking account\'s overdrawn
>also.\"
>
>Customer: \"Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I\'ll have the cash ready. How
>long will it take?\"
>
>Operator: \"We\'re running a little behind, sir. It\'ll be about 45 minutes,
>sir. If you\'re in a hurry you might want to pick \'em up while you\'re out
>getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
>awkward.\"
>
>Customer: \"Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?\"
>
>Operator: \"It says here you\'re in arrears on your car payments, so your car
>got repo\'ed. But your Harley\'s paid for and you just filled the tank
>yesterday\"
>
>Customer: Well I\'ll be a \"@#%/$@&?#!\"
>
>Operator: \"I\'d advise watching your language, sir. You\'ve already got a July
>4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on
>September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.\" \"Oh yes I
>see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
>Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
>
>Customer: (Speechless)
>
>Operator: \"Will there be anything else, sir?\"
>
>Customer: \"Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke\".
>
>Operator: \"I\'m sorry sir, but our ad\'s exclusionary clause prevents us from
>offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank
>you for calling Pizza Hut!\" [img]images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]