The Grand Pooh-Bah of the fruity cargo cult, Tim Cook has dismissed his outfit’s huge European fine as “political crap”.
For those who came in late, Apple was hit by a $14.5 billion back tax bill this week by the European Union.
Cook claimed that the problem was not that Apple had paid less than one percent of its stonking profits to the Irish government and funnelled all its European profits though its dodgy Irish bank account.
“No one did anything wrong here and we need to stand together. Ireland is being picked on and this is unacceptable. It’s total political crap,” he moaned.
Instead, claimed Cook, Apple was being targeted because the EU was “anti-American”. In other words this was only happening because this was an American company helping to make America Great again. European’s should consider yourself lucky that you are even allowed to buy American goods in your backward European bloc. All that was lacking was for him to burst into a few bars of the Star Spangled Banner while smearing a good wholesome Apple pie on his private parts while moaning that if it was not for America everyone in Europe would be speaking German.
However, this is not the first time that Cook has used the phrase “total political crap” and waded into a government for insisting that Apple pay what it owes. However, in that case it was the glorious USA he was moaning about. In an interview with Charlie Rose on 60 Minutes in December, Cook complained that the US Tax Code was made for the industrial age, not the digital age.
“ It’s backwards. It’s awful for America. It should have been fixed many years ago. It’s past time to get it done, he moaned
Charlie Rose pointed out that a government inquiry had found that Apple was engaged in a sophisticated scheme to pay little or no corporate taxes on $74 billion in revenues held overseas.
Tim Cook replied: “That is total political crap. There is no truth behind it. Apple pays every tax dollar we owe.”
Does this sound familiar? It seems that whenever Cook is cornered about tax he starts screaming about “political crap” and how Apple pays what it owes. Yet underlying the whole thing is that Apple is found not to be paying what it owes.
It is as if Cook is really an iRobot programmed to shout “political crap” and repeat a mantra “Apple pays what it owes” whenever a government has the gall to ask Jobs’ Mob to be a responsible corporate citizen.
Cook told the newspaper in an interview he would work closely with Ireland to try to overturn the decision and said the US tech giant was committed to its operations in Ireland. We guess that is because the Irish politicians do what they are told and don’t ask more than the single percent tax Apple is prepared to pay.