A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. \"How much is that Barbie in the window?\", he asks the shop assistant.
The assistant replies, \"Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $25.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $25.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $25.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $25.95, and Divorced Barbie for $495.00\"
The guy asks, \"Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?
\"That\'s obvious,\" the assistant says, \"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken\'s house, Ken\'s car, Ken\'s boat, Ken\'s furniture...\"
My daughter has so many barbies. Funny thing I find about the barbies these days is some just look like , well, prostitute barbie. I dont know who designs some of these but JEEEZ. Anyway I find this joke really funny Cant wait to tell it.
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father.
She stands next to the barberchair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, \"Sweetheart, you\'re gonna get hair on your twinkie.\"
She says, \"Yes, I know, and I\'m gonna get boobs, too.\"
Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do"
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for her questioning.
When Patty came into the office, she was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor. "Patty, you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin. Patty nodded, and the doctor began to question her.
The first question was this: "Patty, if I was to poke out one of your eyes, what would happen?" "I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought. "What would happen if I poked out the other eye?" "I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that she had just gotten her freedom. The doctor then sent her outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike's files.
When Patty got into the waiting room however, she told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were. The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with Patty. "Mike, the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?" "I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told.
This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking. "Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?" "I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed.
But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me hat would fall down over me eyes."