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Topic: You know that Violin Solo??

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  1. #1

    You know that Lament Violin Solo??

    Hi all,

    I'd like to get your feedback about this piece. This is actually the very first piece I wrote with the GPO.

    In December, when I ordered GPO, it was back-ordered. I was going to have to wait. In anticipation of FINALLY being able to write music for strings that would actually sound realistic, (without spending a lot on them), I wrote this piece of music. This was before I learned about the GPO Studio, or learned I could use it with Finale, or even before I had a software sequencer.

    I wrote it in Finale, played it (and recorded it with) my Korg TritonLE's sequencer. Then I played it back to my old G3 Mac and assembled it in ProTools Free and then bounced it to disk.

    It was a very laborious process, but I sent it to Gary in January. He suggested I needed to use the legato tool (which I didn't have at the time) (I agreed). But he said that he was interested in using the violin solo in his Audition part of the GPO website. Since then, I have had several people ask me what the rest of the piece sounded like. (I know there was a link to the larger piece).

    I never got around to cleaning it up and making it better until this weekend. I was on vacation, and this stuff is relaxing to me!

    So.... here it is. The revised, LEGATO version. I took the Midi file created with Finale 2004, and edited it in Cubase SX playing through GPO Studio and captured to disc using WireTap. I used:
    All strings tremolo
    All strings lush mutes
    Solo Guarneri Violin

    Enjoy and please leave feedback AND/OR Criticism. I am trying to be diverse in my writing and I have found the encouragement and criticism here very beneficial.

    Jerry

    The Original mp3 and pdf score have been deleted from my webspace - I don't have a lot of room (yet) but the new ones (revised) can be found in the thread ("Lament" Revised)

    THANKS, Jerry
    Last edited by Jerry W.; 07-31-2004 at 08:01 AM. Reason: more info

  2. #2
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    Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Jerry,

    That was incredible. I'm glad you took the time to finish this. I really like your use of rests in this piece. The slight pause it gives makes the following entrancse more dramatic. I was sorry to have the piece end, I wanted to hear more.

    Jeff

  3. #3

    Thumbs up Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Hi Jerry,

    what a great piece of music! The start of the piece was highly effective and the middle part also. The solo was very beautiful and well constructed. However, the end of the piece was quite "bad" compared to how the other sections was beautifully well constructed and balanced. The reason is (IMO)that in the end you are using too fast harmonic rhythm (which is mostly whole notes in the piece) and the harmony progression is too basic compared to other parts of the piece.
    My suggestion would be to rewrite the ending with slower harmonic rhythm but still use the motive you use now. Maybe it could work well if you would use rising bass line from the F to the final C, like this: F, G, Ab, A, Bb, B, C.

    NB. this is just my opinions and I have no intention to offend or insult people!

    Please share more music!
    Sincerely,
    Falcon1


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  4. #4

    Re: You know that Lament Violin Solo??

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry W.
    PS. I know it is long - and very repetitive. Be patient.
    It's not too long and not repetitive! It's almost perfect except the ending.
    Sincerely,
    Falcon1


    icelandphotoblog.com
    my cafepress store
    my fine art print store
    my music store

    Please support your fellow musician from Iceland where the currency has fallen 70% against USD and 90% against EURO! Every dollar or euro counts!


  5. #5

    Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Jerry, I didn't find it long or repetitive. Following along with the score is always useful. Thank you for going to the trouble to provide it. I think the piece is beautiful. It's very delicate and emotional, and that kind of music is very tough to play. This would be a very good excercise in control. It is also harmonically interesting, which I love! Did you attach all the CC information to the dynamics and crescendos?

    Your score mixes sharps and flats, but the only sharp I agree with is the C# in meas. 57. The other sharps should probably be notated enharmonically as flats. It will make the music much more readable, and harmonically makes more sense, for instance, in the Vln II part in meas.7, all the other instruments are playing flats, a Gbmaj7 chord, and it resolves to a Fmaj with a suspension in the viola, indicating Bb minor (but I love that you don't go there). That's the only reason why I suggest it. Some of the other naturals could use courtesy accidentals.


    In terms of the piece, the only suggestion I have is the ending. I don't feel it is "bad," but I do agree that it does need a bit more attention. The rest of the piece has these moments of indicating a tonal center, like the resolve to a dominant chord I mentioned above, and then it moves off into other harmonic territories, these wonderful chromatic moments, and when you get to the downbeat of 65 with the Eb chord, that moment is absolutely beautiful, and special, (it's kind of cloudy out, but suddenly the clouds part for a moment, and the sun comes out and is so warm and comforting) but the resolve in the last two bars feels very...typical. And from the rest of the piece, you have shown that you have the ability to create something unique, but those last two bars feel lazy. True the final chord is icy and unforgiving with the open fifth, but I was expecting the harmony to move there. And it's the first time in this piece that I was way ahead of you. I'd love to have four or eight more bars, maybe have the violin solo come back briefly, or a brief restatement of the opening two chords. I don't know. I just know how the opening bars made me feel, and how the last two bars made me feel. Again all opinion. I just feel you were sooooooo close, and for me the last two bars undid the last 4:23. FWIW...

  6. #6
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    Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Jerry,

    Yes, I know that violin solo. How can one forget? I received many good comments about your virtuoso solo.

    I am so glad you revisited this piece. You mastered the legato tool quite nicely. The composition itself is beautiful and evocative. The balance of the instruments, the use of expression, and overall blend were well done.

    Thanks for including the pdf score so we can see what you did and learn. I appreciate your posting this. Your are becoming quite the GPO master.

    Gary Garritan

  7. #7

    Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Impressive, very deep and emotional, remind me the adagio of Shostakovich 's eight.Sounds very good to.
    Just two suggestions:
    - maybe add some variations to the chords on 38 because it's the fourth time we hear this chord progression.

    -the end is abrupt, I think the violin solo need to be developped but I understand you want to keep the emotion very sober, that's not easy to avoid sentimentality.

  8. #8

    Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Thanks Everyone for the comments and critique!! This is why I LOVE this forum. Not only does everyone give compliments about what they liked about the piece, but people also give helpful and very specific opinions and helpful hints on how it might be improved. (And EVERY piece can use improvement.)

    Jeff, thanks for the nice comments - I had thought about making it longer - but I didn't want to over-do it by adding more motifs and complicate the simple emotion that I was going for.


    Falcon - I do agree with you and jmc that the ending was kind of thrown on there. It definitely needs some improvement. I was trying to use the same motif I had introduced in the Violin Solo as a unifying closer. But I think you are right in that I rush the harmonic rhythm too much - I really need to slow it down if anything. I will be working on seeing if I can make it better. Never worry about insulting me - as long as you provide me with suggestions on WHY you think things need work and possible solutions to what you perceive as problem areas. seriously. I love getting feedback like this.

    jmc - thanks for your very detailed critique and the generous time I am sure it took to respond. I have fixed the sharps/courtesy accidentals and flats issue - even though I know that string players prefer sharps over flats, I think that flats make more sense harmonically in this piece.

    I try to do as much CC stuff in Finale as possible. I work best when SEEING the notes. I have just only recently become passable at editing with software sequencers. I use the MIDI tool in Finale quite a bit - drawing in the crescendos and decrescendos / velocity, etc. I then like to really fine tune all that data in Cubase. With tremolo parts, I really wasn't impressed with how Finale's playback of the crescendos sounded, since every part started and stopped exactly in beat. So I had to record them in real time and edit later. It was a lot more human feeling than trying to touch up Finale's version of the crescendos/decresc. I have since realized I can "nudge" the beginnings and endings of them to "de-quantize" so to speak, the music.

    As for the ending - hmmm. I have heard this ending so many times I have a hard time imagining it with anything else - but I agree - it needs something different. I will get cracking on it.

    Gary - I am no master, but I am getting more facile in getting what I want out of the limited hardware vs. wonderful software I have. I am glad you liked it.

    Sicmu - Thanks for the comments. I think you may be right about that second quote of the chords. I always thought that though it still sounded fine to me - it needed something for a bit of variety's sake. I'll see what I come up with and see if it disrupts the mood or enhances it. I am working on the ending as I type this.

    Thanks again to EVERYONE for your comments and if you haven't posted one, please feel free even though it may change soon.

    Jerry Wickham
    Last edited by Jerry W.; 07-28-2004 at 02:47 AM. Reason: :)

  9. #9

    Re: You know that Lament Violin Solo??

    I really like your emotional approach, but I too have to agree that it needs an ending that lingers real long after the solo.... and finally trails off.
    Keep up the good work!

  10. #10

    Smile Re: You know that Violin Solo??

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry W.
    Falcon - I do agree with you and jmc that the ending was kind of thrown on there. It definitely needs some improvement. I was trying to use the same motif I had introduced in the Violin Solo as a unifying closer. But I think you are right in that I rush the harmonic rhythm too much - I really need to slow it down if anything. I will be working on seeing if I can make it better. Never worry about insulting me - as long as you provide me with suggestions on WHY you think things need work and possible solutions to what you perceive as problem areas. seriously. I love getting feedback like this.
    Hi Jerry, I'm glad that you don't take my comments the wrong way.
    Sincerely,
    Falcon1


    icelandphotoblog.com
    my cafepress store
    my fine art print store
    my music store

    Please support your fellow musician from Iceland where the currency has fallen 70% against USD and 90% against EURO! Every dollar or euro counts!


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