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Topic: What to do? I need some comments.

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    What to do? I need some comments.

    Last theatre season was to be my last and for all intent and porpoises it is. But, and I say BUT, I am being inundated with requests to stay on if only part time as musical director. Seems as if they can't find a replacement. Part of me would do it for the young actors however the other part is enjoying evenings, weekends, and especially Sundays with my wife and family.
    The town has scheduled a meeting today from what I've just heard, to try and convince me to stay.
    I know, I know, I can make up my own mind and pretty much have. Yet, I am sure you understand how feelings can be pulled between things a person loves.
    What da heck would you do in dis case ifinz it waz you?
    Just thought I would get some feedback from the people I enjoy and respect.
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    I would ask my wife for her opinion...

  3. #3

    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    I would just worry that I wouldn't be able to stop 'part time' from becoming 'full time.' That would be a major concern of mine. As everyone around here keeps telling me, there is such a word as 'no', no matter how hard it is to say, sometimes its best. But my advice would be to follow you're heart. Is this something you and you're family can enjoy being a part of together? That's something to consider as well. If choosing to do it will alienate them, then its not worth it in my book.

  4. #4

    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    Last theatre season was to be my last and for all intent and porpoises it is. But, and I say BUT, I am being inundated with requests to stay on if only part time as musical director. Seems as if they can't find a replacement. Part of me would do it for the young actors however the other part is enjoying evenings, weekends, and especially Sundays with my wife and family.
    The town has scheduled a meeting today from what I've just heard, to try and convince me to stay.
    I know, I know, I can make up my own mind and pretty much have. Yet, I am sure you understand how feelings can be pulled between things a person loves.
    What da heck would you do in dis case ifinz it waz you?
    Just thought I would get some feedback from the people I enjoy and respect.
    Often in cases like this there are two internal dynamics working which, if not examined, may get mixed up together: on the one hand there is the real feeling of loss which exists whenever we must choose between two things that we love. Secondly there is the lure of the people who will lose you. You like being wanted and you may feel a little guilty for abandoning them, but what happens emotionally, is that the feelings from the first dynamic are stimulated by the second.

    To me it sounds like you really have decided that it is best for you and family to give up the job. All you need is to feel the sorrow of the loss. That will free you to make the right decision.

    ...and of course, the theatre will survive and maybe they will gain something from the change, although, of course, "things wil never be the same without you" (:-)

    "Onward and Upward"

    Ed

  5. #5
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    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    If you really want to move on, don't do it. If the town is putting this much effort into trying to get you to stay, let them put that effort into finding a replacement. Offer to help as a consultant if you want. Be careful to what you agree to.

    Jeff

  6. #6
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    Quote Originally Posted by FredProgGH
    I would ask my wife for her opinion...
    Yeah, I already did and she said this. There are two sides to every argument ... And boy are going to hear mine!
    Styxx

  7. #7
    Senior Member CString's Avatar
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    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    Ask them to quadruple your pay. That should get them looking for a replacement.
    Me fail English? That's unpossible.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    Quote Originally Posted by CString
    Ask them to quadruple your pay. That should get them looking for a replacement.
    Well, not quite. This is the gist of the meeting.
    They want me back on double pay with hours under my own terms (whatever that means) my own budget account for anything I may need pertaining to music and a hire a new choreographer. Last years was unreliable. I told them I would think it over. Oh, yeah, and an assistant who also would do vocals. So, we are talking some incentives. I have until tomorrow to weigh the pros and cons.
    I never thought I would be in a position deciding whether to do something like this or not. I mean, how many of us actually get paid a steady rate to program music?
    Well, let me sleep on it. Baby baby let me sleep on it..... Meatloaf
    Styxx

  9. #9
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    Re: What to do? I need some comments.

    Styxx,

    I don't know what you should do, but my guess is that you already have your answer, it's just you're not comfortable dealing with the consequences of the decision you've already- in your heart- made.

    So the trick is to just move forward in the direction you've chosen without turning into a pillar of salt.

    (That's how crossroad/decision tense music moment of truth stuff usually works for me, at least.)

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