I think you got the base here for a nice redidition, but it needs a bit of refinement. Since you're working with a string quartet, I approach it by working each instrument individually. I'd analyze just the violin 1. Change the velocities for dramatic effect. The velocities all sound the same to me now. Read in the manual about the legato control. This piece would be perfect for it. Don't be afraid to use modulation. Make each phrase "sing". Once the 1st violin is right, move to the other instruments. I just listened once, and I'm not sure if I heard any tempo changes. If not, slight ritards or accelerandos can make it sound much more real. Good start.