Blessed Are The Liars
This guy dies and is met at heaven's door by Saint Peter. The door is swung open and just inside, the guy sees countless numbers of clocks - all hung on an endless wall.
"What's with all the clocks?", the guy asks Saint Peter.
"Oh, yeah. We use them to keep track of all the lies you folks tell down there", Saint Peter says. "See this one here? That's Mother Theresa's. It's never moved a minute. Bless her, as she has never told a lie"
"And this one here", Saint Peter continues. "This one is Abe Lincoln's clock. He was a good boy. His clock just moved a couple times".
"Well, that's really interesting" the guy says. "But where's
George W Bush's clock?"
"Oh, yeah", Saint Peter says. " Yeah, well Jesus has been keeping that in his office. He's been using it as a ceiling fan".