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Topic: Here comes Canada!!!

  1. #1
    Moderator/Developer Brian2112's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    Out of my Mind

    Talking Here comes Canada!!!

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    My wife and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary tonight. We had a nice dinner, roses, and watched 3 episodes of Babylon 5 (our fave). I’m a bit baked but unable to sleep.We had a lot of fun. Given my mental instability, it is a times like these that I think of Doomsday scenarios. Therefore, I humbly present to you:

    by Brian2112

    July, 2015: Increasingly annoyed by the loud neighbors, the Canadian Government decides that enough is enough. Plans are draw up to invade the continental United States.

    January, 2016: Plans are put into action but aborted due to a particularly good hockey season.

    Late August, 2017: Giga Studio patch 3.05 released. Canadian based website Northern Sounds traffic clogs American internet access. An opportunity presents itself.

    2nd October, 2017: Canadian military forces, under cover of broad daylight, pour over the border into the northern United States. The operation, dubbed “Shut the Hell up”, is assisted by Canadian Mounties numbering in the tens of tens. The initial stages of the operation go flawlessly aside from a slight slowdown around the Minneapolis area where the Canadians are surprised by a great sale on sporting goods at the local outlets. Wool flannels in the half-off section? This re-enforces the rightness of their cause, and the obstacle is overcome.

    20th October 2017: With the U.S. military scattered through out the world, the U.S. is left defenseless, and caught completely by surprise. The march South continues.

    21st October 2017: Some resistance encountered in a small region of Ohio. The Canadian army commander decides to bypass the area completely, telling the Canadian Prime Minister that laying siege to Cleveland “would just be silly”.

    4th November 2017: A Major hang-up in the offensive as the Imperial Canadian Army moves east towards New Jersey. No one has exact change for the tolls, and the provided map of the area did not include the exit number for “that really good rout to Trenton”. Decision is made to forget about New Jersey.

    7th November 2017: Crowds in New York cheer the liberators as they move into the city. People lay roses in front of the Canadian tanks. New York Mayor cedes governorship of New York to Canada in exchange for filling the pot holes around the bridges leading into Manhattan. Crowds rejoice.

    9th December 2017: Parts of Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Louisiana are left alone because, as the Commander put it, “It just doesn’t smell right around here”

    11th December 2017: Conquest of North America complete.

    12th December 2017: Naps, Cookouts etc.

    13th December 2017: Canada annexes Europe and all of the former Soviet Union. The Russians are impressed with the Stubby beer bottle and won over, The English were just too tired to resist, and everyone else just went with whatever England did. France protested, but backed off when promised their own CHL franchise and some really nice wool flannels. Canada later said that there was a misunderstanding and clarified that all of Europe did not include France and that France would continue to be a sovereign nation. The French protested.

    4th January 2018: Palestinians demand a state. Cleveland and New Jersey are offered. Palestinians say they prefer bondage.

    20th January 2018: World Domination Complete.

    Summer 2074: Rush Begins 100th Anniversary Tour.

    21st January 2112: Height of Canadian Empire.

    22nd January 2112: Quebec Succeeds from Canada. Empire Falls.

    23rd January 2112: Greenland senses an opportunity….

    "So what if some parts of life are a crap shoot? Get out there and shoot the crap." -- Neil Peart
    Hint:1.6180339887498948482 Φ

  2. #2

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!


    But we English will never be taken by men who play girls team sports.


    David Carter (DaveTubaKing)

    Intel 8 Core i7 975 Extreme Edition 3.33GHz, Corsair 12GB (6x2GB) DDR3 1333MHz , Sibelius 6.1, Symphonic cube, MIR, Vienna Choir


  3. #3

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    Hilarious! One of the funniest things I've read in a long time

  4. #4

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    This is great Brian.

    However I think you have completely misread the root cause of the conflict...

    It's that after 23 years, the Canadian Government concluded that the only way a Canadian team was going to win The Cup was to annex the U.S.

    In my youth I belonged to one of the smallest clubs in the world - native born Texan hockey fans.

    Therefore, I welcome the liberators! ( Provided I can keep my health plan. )
    - Layne

  5. #5

    Talking Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    The French mull it over some more, then decide to protest yet again, because there are not NEARLY enough sidewalk cafe’ waiters and that the new patrons are so “stupid” - upon which the speed dial button on the Red "U.N.-Phone" is immediately hit!

  6. #6

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    hey dont laugh! my mom who is psychic said she had a vision the U.S had merged with canada and mexico after a world war there was no president but a committee and the year was 2012!!!!
    as a old rush fan my heart skiped since most visions are ussually off by a small factor IE: 2012 instead of 2112

  7. #7

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    Those mounties better bring some of that high-octane Canadian dope with em.
    Michael Peter

    If music be the food of love...
    play on

    William Shakespeare


  8. #8

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by mike harper
    hey dont laugh! my mom who is psychic said she had a vision the U.S had merged with canada and mexico after a world war there was no president but a committee and the year was 2012!!!!
    Reminds me somewhat of John Titor's predictions. www.johntitor.com

  9. #9

    Re: Here comes Canada!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by His Frogness
    Those mounties better bring some of that high-octane Canadian dope with em.
    Gettin' closer - There's OIL in them there Canadian hills! (Yosemitee Sam accent).

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