• Register
  • Help
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27

Topic: Raped Christmas Songs

Share/Bookmark
  1. #1

    Raped Christmas Songs

    Okay folks, normally I'm a really really positive guy. Don't like to cut things down, try to say the nice thing, but SHEEZ...I'm sitting here putting the tree up (I know...I know..BELIEVE me I know) and winding the lights around and flicking the cat off the tree (nicely actually..I love cats), and we have this station here that starting around July...plays Christmas songs 24/7. Hoo boy, there are some real PRIZERS of songs by famous people that should NEVER have performed ANY Christmas song in their LIVES.

    Now, I know I'll get disagreement on this but for the record, Neil Diamond should stay as FAR away from the studio between, say, November and January.

    Yikes. Winter Wonderland sounded like a broken bagpipe attempting to sing a fairly nice song.

    So, here's my list of mangled, raped, and otherwise destroyed Christmas songs (allow me to be like that guy on the T.V., Simon, that rips every performer regardless as to whether they pitched the performance of their very lives or not)...that I've been forced to endure for the last day or two:

    1. Winter Wonderland (and anything else remotely Christmas-like) by Neil Diamond. Already ripped it up above. Not wasting space here.

    2. Jungle Bells - Beach Boys. Oh my, WHAT were their PR people thinking...I think it goes something like this: "hmmm...Elvis has a Christmas record, Englebert Humperdink probably has a Christmas record, ooh...I know...the Beach Boys should have a Christmas album. Now I'll bet that the other songs on the album were probably fine...but Jungle Bells? COME ON PEOPLE.

    3. O Holy Night - Mariah Carey. Good Heavens...I know this young lady can sing (parts of it being somewhat of a controlled scream), but this performance is neither holy, nor at night, it's in the stark naked daylight at high noon. Zowie. At one point I couldn't really tell what the lyrics were even saying there was so much "soul" in the room. In fact, the soul departed. Ichabod.

    4. "I'll have a blue blue blue blue blue blue BLUE Christmas without you" sung by anyone. I will be black and blue if I have to hear this ONE MORE TIME. Lessee...at last count, I think I heard the following genre's represented: Rock, Country, Country, Country, Ballad (easy listening), Gothic Speed Metal, Ska, and Zydeco.

    Okay...I'm not scrooge anymore...I got it off my chest. I just wish I could actually HAVE an opinion here. I keep sitting on the fence, not picking a side at all, and then I go and sugarcoat it like that. Y'all must think I'm SUCH a pantywaste milque toast.

    There, I said it. Hah!
    Kevin B. Selby
    http://kevinselby.com <-- Public site
    http://kevinselby.com/gpo <--My music catalog FREE to GPO users: username: gpo - pword: garritan

  2. #2

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    Ok, I'm *not* sending you "The Salsoul Orchestra Christmas Jollies".

    Two 15-minute disco medleys of Christmas songs. Must be heard to be believed.

    V.

  3. #3

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    He He He Kevin, I feel your pain....

  4. #4

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    Oh man, The song that Paul McCartney sings, "Simply havin' a Wonderful Christmas Time" OH MY GOD! I wanted to shoot myself and him when i hear that song...its like, Jeez buddy, take it up the brown already!

    As im typing this, im watching the American "Idle" X-mas Special...

    Dear lord....

    ~FireGS
    ~Sam Ferrara~

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Davenport, IA (US)
    Posts
    203

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    Ever heard that christmas opera on those cheap AM radio stations?

    TORTURE. PURE TORTURE!

  6. #6

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    I've always thought that whoever said "Hey!! Let's get Bing Crosby and David Bowie to sing Little Drummer Boy together!!" was on PCP. I know a lot of people thought that was really cool but it made me cringe. Actually, that song makes me cringe anyway though. Pa-rum-pum-pum- what the heck is that??

  7. #7
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    for the record, Neil Diamond should stay as FAR away from the studio between, say, November and January.
    I really concur with this absolutely! But, may I add ... Neil Diamond shouldn't sing at all. As a matter of fact, I don't think he can anymore not that he could. Not a Neil Diamond fan at all.
    Styxx

  8. #8
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by FredProgGH
    I've always thought that whoever said "Hey!! Let's get Bing Crosby and David Bowie to sing Little Drummer Boy together!!" was on PCP. I know a lot of people thought that was really cool but it made me cringe. Actually, that song makes me cringe anyway though. Pa-rum-pum-pum- what the heck is that??
    That's right, pick on the percussionist again!
    Styxx

  9. #9

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    That's right, pick on the percussionist again!
    No no, I'm on your side!! That song is just a bad rap for percussionists. (I'll play my drum for you-- hey, can the Messiah get a little sleep maybe?? Hah???

    And hey, if we're having a "hate Neal Diamond" fest I'm all the way in!!

    How about Manheim Steamroller?? Some of the Fresh Aire Christmas stuff is really good, but some of it is a bit... cheddar-esque...

  10. #10

    Re: Raped Christmas Songs

    Here's one for all you who thought Bing would've been better off singing "Little Drummer Boy" with barking dogs...just select "Rummy Rocker Boy" from the list.

    http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/...unes.asp?Var=R
    -E

    "Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson."

Go Back to forum

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •