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Topic: You're gonna love these -------

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    West Seneca, NY
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    Talking You're gonna love these -------

    Ads - These are real ads posted in various papers that a friend of mine sent me.

    Ads: Classified as Stupid

    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
    8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG... BITES.

    FREE PUPPIES: ½ COCKER SPANIEL
    1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.

    FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN
    SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED.
    SPEAKS GERMAN. -- FREE.

    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKEA RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE...
    BETTER BE A REWARD.

    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB --
    $850/OFFER

    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
    ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS...

    COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
    ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

    NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED,
    CALL CHUBBY.

    GEORGIA PEACHES,
    CALIFORNIA GROWN -
    89 cents lb.

    NICE PARACHUTE:
    NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.

    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
    WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
    STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.

    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
    QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.

    JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
    MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

    ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR
    AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

    OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON.
    FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.

    FOR SALE BY OWNER:
    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes..
    Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Freaking Wife knows everything
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: You're gonna love these -------

    Styxx, you never cease to crack me up!

    Thanks for sharing these and adding that smile I needed!

    Jerry
    MacBook Pro Intel Core 2 Duo 2.5ghz 4GB Ram OSX 10.5.8
    Korg TritonLe & MAudio Oxygen 8
    T3, Logic 9, DP7, K2, GPO4, Strad, Gofriller, C&MB, Finale 2010

    My Website!
    New Film Scores!
    Also, Ever think about having your very own personal documentary? See my new Website!
    http://www.mylegacyfilm.com


  3. #3
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: You're gonna love these -------

    Jerry, I couldn't stop when I read the last one!

    FOR SALE BY OWNER:
    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes..
    Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Freaking Wife knows everything.
    Styxx

  4. #4
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: You're gonna love these -------

    Why are blond jokes so short? So brunettes and redheads can remember them.
    Styxx

  5. #5
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    Talking Re: You're gonna love these -------

    My wife and I went to the store last night and our 14 year old daughter tagged alone. I asked what she was doing with that open bag of M&M's and she said, "I'm taking them back!" Why I asked. She said, "they are all W's!"
    Styxx

  6. #6

    Re: You're gonna love these -------

    Those were hilarious!

    It reminded me of some of the stuff Jay Leno shows on "headlines" on Monday night . . .

    http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Tonight_S...es/index.shtml
    Sean Patrick Hannifin
    My MP3s | My Melody Generator | my album
    "serious music" ... as if the rest of us are just kidding

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