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Topic: Going out to dinner

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  1. #1

    Talking Going out to dinner

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    Have you ever gone out to dinner with your parents and have been embarassed out of your mind by them? Well, I just experienced the very worst of it. My mom and her boyfriend, Ron went to a nice classy Chinese resteraunt in town.

    Now, this was no take-out place. There were beautiful wood tables and chairs, crystal chandeliers, royal-colored carpet, and (I don't know why) plastic cups. Those stupid bright red SOLO cups just ruined the whole experience! And the buffet was really good.

    So we went to the buffet and filled our plates with food--LOTS of food! We sat down, and started eating. What else would you do at an all-you-can-eat buffet? It wasn't untill about twenty minuets into the meal that things started getting, um, awkward.

    Ron took out his cell phone and called my Mom's cell phone. My mom answered not knowing that it was the person sitting right beside her, and was quite surprised--to say the very least! Then Ron said, "Talk dirty to me!" and he said it LOUD! The entire resteraunt silenced. Then my mom replied, "What are ya wearing?" in the sluttiest voice I had ever herd in my life--all coming from my beloved MOTHER!! And also, you guessed it, VERY loud!!!

    They laughed and cakled, really loud, for a while before settling down. Then my mom said the most deadly thing a mother can say at a resteraunt: "Why don't we entertain ourselves in a more family-friendly way?"

    Well, you guessed it! SPOONS!!!

    Putting one spoon on top of another and banging one spoon to see if the other one will land in the glass of water right-side-up went over big. Spoons flying one...two...three...FOUR feet into the air!! None of them landing in the glass of water. All of them landing on the table with a CLANK louder than anything you've ever herd. Of course, when your being tortured to this extent with embarrasment, EVERYTHING is loud!!

    Next was balancing the spoon on your nose. You have to get the technique just right. You first have to brethe on the spoon to get it just a bit moist, then carefully place it on your nose. It should stay. Well, Mom and Ron had this down to an art tonight. They balanced spoons like there was no tomorrow! And, of course, they eventually fell and made a CLANK as they hit either the floor or the table.

    Next was spitballs! What fun! I was Ron reach for the paper and for a straw. I prayed. Please don't do it, please don't do it, PLEASE don't do it!! It wasn't enough. Ready...aim...FIRE! There goes a spit ball headed streight for the kid behind me. Luckially it bounces off his chair and everything was cool. At this point I was begging them to stop. Mom just told me, "We're just getting back at you for all those times you embarrased me and all those hours of labor you put me through." Then Ron aimed his straw at me. He said it was either me or the kid behind me. Lucky for me, Mom came to the rescue and took his straw and paper. Phew!

    Well, it was FINALLY almost time to go and our very annoyed waitress brought us three fortune cookies. My mom, being the klutz she is, decided to stand up and juggle the three cookies. Three up in the air, three on the ground. Three up in the air, three on the ground. This continues for about two minuets or so.

    We finally leave. Now I am here sharing this exceedingly awkward dinner with y'all. As you can probably imagine, this is probably the worst thing that could possibly happen to a 14-year-old. Well, it happened to me.

    Lesson learned: takeout Chinese is much safer than going to a real
    resteraunt.


    -Chris

  2. #2

    Re: Going out to dinner

    You have my utmost sympathy. I would have probably died right there in my chair. So sorry you had to go through that That's horrible behavior in public. Especially for adults!!

  3. #3

    Re: Going out to dinner

    Interlocken. Boarding school for the musically talented.

    Then at 17 get into an out of state consevatory.

    I left home at 17 and never looked back.

    Cheers,

    Jose

  4. #4

    Re: Going out to dinner

    I don't have to worry about being embarrased tonight at dinner. I'm going to a place that serves people enough beer that they may pass out at their table, or on the train on the way home.

    Oh yeah, and they serve chicken butts. Yes. You read that right. Chicken butts.

    I'm on a business trip to Japan.

    And your parents might even embarass me at a restaurant here. Definitely go for take out next time!

    -JF

  5. #5

    Re: Going out to dinner

    Quote Originally Posted by moviemaestro
    You have my utmost sympathy. I would have probably died right there in my chair. So sorry you had to go through that That's horrible behavior in public. Especially for adults!!
    Thanks, I think I'm OK now. A good night's rest did me good.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Posts
    1,477

    Re: Going out to dinner

    Quote Originally Posted by cptexas
    Have you ever gone out to dinner with your parents and have been embarassed out of your mind by them? Well, I just experienced the very worst of it. My mom and her boyfriend, Ron went to a nice classy Chinese resteraunt in town.


    So we went to the buffet and filled our plates with food--LOTS of food! We sat down, and started eating. What else would you do at an all-you-can-eat buffet? It wasn't untill about twenty minuets into the meal that things started getting, um, awkward.

    Ron took out his cell phone and called my Mom's cell phone....
    First off - your dad and his piano, which you say is your piano, are both rotting somewhere in a living room.

    Now you're telling us there's a problem with RON!! And SPITBALLS?!?!

    AND - they played 20 MINUETS?!!! In a CHINESE RESTAURANT!??! They must have been exhausted!

    I can't stand much more of this!!

    But do keep us up to speed in this continuing saga - it's better than most soaps.



  7. #7

    Re: Going out to dinner

    I wish I had a mother like yours CP, at least she's not flatlining like mine did... So sad and depressed that she could really kill any good mood up to a 10 meters range in any restaurant. BTW Ron sucks.

    C.

  8. #8

    Re: Going out to dinner

    Okay. I just got back from one of the most amazing evenings of my life. We went to a restaurant called chi-ki chi-ki in Utsunomiya, Tochigi Prefecture, Japan. We started off with raw chicken. We asked what part. It was either breast, back or loin. Even the guys that speak Japanese couldn't tell. It was tasty though...

    And, yes, I ate three chicken butts. They were on a single stick, breaded and deep-fried. Each had two little balls of fat and a chewy, tubular part in the middle. This is like my 22nd trip to Japan, and I eat what I'm served. I've had worse.

    We also ate squid mouths. No lie. Our host quizzed us for five minutes trying to see if we could guess what we were eating. We gave up... The squid mouths were way better than the chicken butts.

    Then we had chicken cartelidge (sp?), deep fried chicken skin and nato. Nato is rotten bean curd that leaves sticky angel-hair strings on whatever it touches. It smells of outhouse. This was the best nato I've ever eaten, which is faint praise...

    We each had three beers at dinner, so our host called a driving service.

    Two guys show up in a small car, wearing bright green jacket and white glove uniforms. One guy drives your car with the owner and guests, the other follows. It's way better than a deisignated driver or taxi.

    So, where does our drunken non-driver host take us? To our hotel? No. To a private bar.

    The private bar is a nearly unmarked door in an alley. We get inside, and there are ten seats, two small tables and every whiskey bottle you can imagine (times ten). It's just the three of us.

    You know that tough Italian guy from the 1960s movies with the flat nose? The bartender looked just like him, only he was Japanese. And what an artist! I order a single-malt whisky on the rocks. He carves a piece of ice from a block that just fits in the glass and pours a shot and a half over the top. The ice cracks with the heat of the scotch. Wild.

    That was my second drink at the bar. My first was a Guinness.

    The bartender turned on the Guinness tap and it lit up. That was kinda weird. He then pours a bottle of Guinness into a glass, and it's flat as a squirrel on the 405 freeway. I was kinda bummed when I saw that. Then he puts the glass under this magic lighted tap. It shines a UV light into the beer, and the base shakes it with micro-vibrations. The flat beer magically develops gas and eventually has a head like a beer poured in Dublin. Amazing.

    In all of my trips to Japan, the only cheese I've eaten was at Mc Donalds. This bar is a different world. Our host orders Brie, Cannonbere, and a couple of other European cheeses. They're world class.

    Oh yeah. And what's playing on the pair of JBL 4311s built into the wall? Some Art Blakey, then some Miles. Our host asks if I like Jazz. I reply that fusion is my favorite, and the next thing you know we're listening to some acoustic DiMeola.

    Outside of the bar there's a BMW 760 with 22" inch wheels. Utsunomiya is known to have a dark side: the Yakuza (Japanese mafia). If you see a Japanese guy missing his little finger, he's in the club. Fortunately, we three were the only guys in the secret bar on this Thursday night. We didn't need to refuse any deals that we couldn't refuse.

    We finished with little, tiny hand shaken margaritas that were better than anything I've ever had in Mexico or the states, took the cab back to the hotel, and here I am...

    You'd think that our host was some high flyer. You couldn't be further from the truth. He has three kids, loves to camp and fish and drives a bright yellow Land Cruiser with a snorkel and a thick layer of mud and dirt. We're talkin' jeans and a t-shirt. Still, I'm glad that Chris' family wasn't here. I don't get the feeling that they would eat chicken butts without a fight...

    Wish you were all here...

    -JF

  9. #9

    Re: Going out to dinner

    Sounds like you have a really fun family. As embarassing as it may be, later on you will cherrish having people like this in your life. These are priceless memories. It may be akward at times, but it sounds to me like they like having fun, and that's very important. Be glad you don't have stuffy parents who can't have an ounce of fun to save their lives! I don't either, but I know people who do, and I gotta say, it's sad.

    Please, keep us apprised of any further episodes! This is good stuff.

  10. #10

    Re: Going out to dinner

    I'm sorry you were so embarassed. And I'm also sorry I could not help but laugh. That's some very immature behavior! My parents would make me sit out in the car if I ever tried to make spitballs or balance spoons on the nose.

    Although there was that one time . . . the waiters are supposed to come by and pick up your dirty dishes at those all-you-can-eat places. Well, no waiter was coming to our table, so we knew we had to get their attention some how. We ended up stacking the plates and cups into a nice tower that became the focus of the restaraunt. The waiter finally took them away!

    But usually when I go out to eat we entertain ourselves with conversation, or drawing on napkins. My little sister, 8 years old at the time, once drew a picture of a dog with a quote bubble saying "I'm too pregnant to have babies." I have no idea what it meant, but it made us laugh for a while.

    The greatest times to go out to eat are when we see my grandparents and my many aunts and uncles. There's nothing like asking for a table for 30! I love how they pretend to be interested in my life . . . or perhaps they really are! And my uncles are hilarious, always fun to be with.

    Well, that's my ramble . . .
    Sean Patrick Hannifin
    My MP3s | My Melody Generator | my album
    "serious music" ... as if the rest of us are just kidding

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