• Register
  • Help
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Topic: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

Share/Bookmark
  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Talking Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
    A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins
    "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t."

    What's the best form of birth control after 50?
    Nudity

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good
    looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.


    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

    The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

    "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."


    Have a happy productive musical weekend everyone!
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    Jock was digging peat at his croft when a passing American tourist asks,

    "How much land do you have here?"

    "About two acres" Jock replies.

    "You know back home it takes me a day to drive around my ranch !" the American boasts.

    "Aye", says Jock " I once had a car like that."

  3. #3

    Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    A Scottish footbal fan told his mate, "My dog watches all the games. When my team wins it jumps up and down and claps its paws. When we lose it somersaults."
    "Yer Kiddin me right? How many somersaults?" asked his impressed friend.
    The Fitba fan replied, "depends how often I kick it..."

  4. #4
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    Aaaaaa ha ha ha ! !
    Styxx

  5. #5
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    The Ages of Woman:
    1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.

    2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

    3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

    4. Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.

    5. After 56 she is like Australia; everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

    The Ages of Man:
    (read these carefully)
    1. Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly.

    2. Between 27 and 46: Try weekly.

    3. Over 47: Try weakly.
    Styxx

  6. #6

    Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    Thanks all!
    ;-)

    Jim Jarnagin - no not THAT Jim Jarnagin, the other one.

  7. #7

    Wink Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    Jazz Math:


    1. If x is the number of chord changes in a tune, and y is the tempo
    at which it is played, then xy = factor by which a guitarist will
    turn down his amp.

    2. If a bassist plays a root, a pianist superimposes a major seventh
    chord built on the fifth, and a saxophonist plays the 13th, will
    attractive women notice? Will the drummer?

    Peace

    Rik

  8. #8

    Wink Re: Firday is "Hard To Believe Day" with some jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by rikp
    Jazz Math:


    1. If x is the number of chord changes in a tune, and y is the tempo
    at which it is played, then xy = factor by which a guitarist will
    turn down his amp.
    ***
    Peace

    Rik
    Q: How do you get an electric guitarist to turn down his amp?

    A: Put sheet music in front of him.

    Grant
    ==============================
    Grant Green ||| www.contrabass.com
    Sarrusophones and other seismic devices

Go Back to forum

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •