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Topic: AOL Develops a new Car.

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Talking AOL Develops a new Car.

    1. The AOL car comes with a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet has a 200 MPH speedometer.
    2. The AOL car comes equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
    3. The car often refuse to start and owners should just expect this and try again later.
    4. The windshield will have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
    5. AOL will sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
    6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car may just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
    7. The AOL car will have a very plain body style but will have lots of pretty colors and lights.
    8. The AOL car comes equiped having only one door but will have 5 extra seats for family members.
    9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
    10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
    11. The AOL car will have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
    12. AOL passes a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
    13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
    14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
    15. It will not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
    16. AOL cars will be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and delivers worse mileage.
    17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he will wonder, M/F/age?
    18. It will be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
    19. AOL car owners will always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
    20. AOL cars come with a steering wheel and AOL will claim no other cars have them.
    21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: AOL Develops a new Car.

    So sad, yet so true.

  3. #3

    Re: AOL Develops a new Car.

    Thanks for clarifying why I left AOL oh so many years ago. And it still hasn’t changed? Oh dear. How do they keep doing it?

    Karl

  4. #4

    Re: AOL Develops a new Car.

    Quote Originally Posted by Karl Garrett
    Thanks for clarifying why I left AOL oh so many years ago. And it still hasn’t changed? Oh dear. How do they keep doing it?

    Karl
    I left them too and have never looked back, what a bunch of poop
    Dan

  5. #5
    Senior Member rwayland's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    California Redwoods
    Posts
    2,937

    Re: AOL Develops a new Car.

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    1. The AOL car comes with a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet has a 200 MPH speedometer.
    2. The AOL car comes equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
    3. The car often refuse to start and owners should just expect this and try again later.
    4. The windshield will have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
    5. AOL will sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
    6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car may just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
    7. The AOL car will have a very plain body style but will have lots of pretty colors and lights.
    8. The AOL car comes equiped having only one door but will have 5 extra seats for family members.
    9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
    10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
    11. The AOL car will have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
    12. AOL passes a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
    13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
    14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
    15. It will not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
    16. AOL cars will be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and delivers worse mileage.
    17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he will wonder, M/F/age?
    18. It will be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
    19. AOL car owners will always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
    20. AOL cars come with a steering wheel and AOL will claim no other cars have them.
    21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
    Well, I have been wondering for many years about AOL. I can't find any reason for it's existence!

    Richard

  6. #6

    Re: AOL Develops a new Car.

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    1. The AOL car comes with a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet has a 200 MPH speedometer.
    2. The AOL car comes equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
    3. The car often refuse to start and owners should just expect this and try again later.
    4. The windshield will have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
    5. AOL will sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
    6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car may just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
    7. The AOL car will have a very plain body style but will have lots of pretty colors and lights.
    8. The AOL car comes equiped having only one door but will have 5 extra seats for family members.
    9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
    10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
    11. The AOL car will have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
    12. AOL passes a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
    13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
    14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
    15. It will not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
    16. AOL cars will be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and delivers worse mileage.
    17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he will wonder, M/F/age?
    18. It will be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
    19. AOL car owners will always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
    20. AOL cars come with a steering wheel and AOL will claim no other cars have them.
    21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
    As Joseph said, so sad, yet so true, but at the same time SO FUNNY!!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh!

    -Chris

  7. #7

    Re: AOL Develops a new Car.

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
    Ohhh, that one hurts. When I cancelled AOL it took over two months. At the end I was literally just screaming "Dissonnect it!! Disconnect it!!!" into the phone at whoever was on the other end.

    "Sir, would you like to try another month absolutely free??"
    "DISCONNECT IT!!!!"


    It was like a Seinfeld episode.

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