(no offense to any teachers here)
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit." The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, "You're slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher."

Two schoolboys were talking about their math lessons. "Why do you suppose we stop the tables at 12?" asked one. "Oh, don't you know," said the other. "I heard Mom say it was unlucky to have a thirteenth table."

What's the longest piece of fruniture in the school?
The multiplication table.

Teacher: What's the best way to pass this geometry test?
Boy: Knowing all the angles.

"The girl beside me in math is very clever," said Alec to his mother. "She has enough brain for two." "Perhaps you'd better think of marriage," replied Mom.

"Frank," said the weary math teacher, "if you had seven dollars in your pocket, and seven dollars in another pocket, what would you have?"
"Someone else's trousers on!"

The math teacher and the English teacher went out for a quick pizza after school. "How long will the pizzas be?" asked the math teacher.
"Sorry, Sir," replied the waiter, "we don't do long pizzas, just ordinary round ones."

Father: I want to take my girl out of this terrible math class.
Teacher: But she's top of the class.
Father: That's why I think it must be terrible.

Did you hear about the schoolboy who just couldn't get to grips with decimals?
He couldn't see the point.

Teacher: If I had 10 flies on my desk and I swatted one, how many flies would I have left?
Student: The dead one.

Clarrie: Out math teacher has long black hair all down her back.
Barry: Yes, it's a pity it doesn't grow on her head.

Tom: Why are you scratching your head?
Harry: I have those arithmetic bugs again.
Tom: Arithmetic bugs - what are they?
Harry, Well, some people call them head lice.
Tom: Then why do you call them arithmetic bugs?
Harry: Because the add to my misery, subtract from my pleasure, divide my attention, and multiply like crazy!!


OK, I know. Those were really bad. Just the stupidity is funny enough!