Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
As I was going to the North Pole
I met nine elves;
Each elf had nine reindeers,
Each reindeer had nine bags,
Each bag had nine puppies,
And each bag had also nine cats,
Reindeers, elves, puppies and cats,
How many were going to the North Pole?
Only myself. The elves were going in the opposite direction.