One thing I do know for sure about scores, there is nothing that means the same thing twice.... well this is a blah blah blah, unless it has a blah blah in front of it, but only when the time signature is 3/4. When the violins go into divisi, the cellos and french horns play unison, but only if the director is on a smoke break,... now, when the flutes play, they get to play notes that don't fit onto the music, so sometimes they are forced to play the string bass notes fourteen octaves above the basses, but only if the violas have a separate C cleff. Depending on what the writer/deranger was smoking, would depend on whether the violas get a C cleff or an F cleff, if he is on serious drugs, the violas may be out to lunch. The percussioninsist's have a mini auction backstage to bid on playing the timpani since that is the only percussionist'ssss that gets respect. The violinists will always sniff before an emotional phrase and suck up so much air that the winds behind them can't play. Trombone players will be wearing earplugs since the trumpets were designed to point into the heads of the bones, causing the bone players to play seriously out of tune because their ears are plugged. Their excuse for poor intonation, is that they don't have valves because someone a few hundred years ago said they should slide from note to note, and it really isn't important to actually hit the note dead on. This is critical while blowing from note to note, but only if the trumpets are playing, if the trumpets are not playing, and the tromboneists'sss never hit the notes in tune, then they can blame it on the fact that their earplugs fell out and their ears were ringing.
I decided to have seriously long runon sentances in this to make it easy to read for real musicianssissts'
Oh man where's my batoon?