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Topic: So, if you can't leave your job ...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    West Seneca, NY

    Talking So, if you can't leave your job ...

    Way to keep healthy level of insanity in the workplace
    1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
    2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
    Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
    3. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
    4. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
    5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
    6. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
    7. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
    8. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
    9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
    10. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
    11. When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up."
    12. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think?"
    13. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a Parakeet.
    14. Sit in the parking lot at lunchtime pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
    15. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

  2. #2

    Re: So, if you can't leave your job ...


    Thanks for the laughs...
    Sean Patrick Hannifin
    My MP3s | My Melody Generator | my album
    "serious music" ... as if the rest of us are just kidding

  3. #3

    Re: So, if you can't leave your job ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
    You don't know how long I've really wanted to do that.

  4. #4

    Re: So, if you can't leave your job ...


    A combination or 2) and 13) is especially effective with female overseers.

    I also found lighting a little campfire in your ashtray and roasting marshmallows at work is most calming...


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