OT - Ha!

[Styxx]

My Wife: I dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You would not spoil that dream, would you, Dear?
Me: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $500.00

[Styxx]

Things To Do In An Elevator

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
4) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
5) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
6) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
7) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
8) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
9) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
10) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
11) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
12) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
14) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
15) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
:



Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just declare darkness the standard

[Hermitage59]

Styxx, you've got WAY too much time on your hands!



Conductor...............

An air conditioning repairman with a prison system contract.





BASSOON!!!!!!!!!!

The cry from an overzealous chorale director who knows the score.

[SeanHannifin]

I'll have to try some of those elevator things...

[cptexas]

HAHAHAHA!!!!

Thanks!

[PaulR]

(16) Fart - and then blame them calling them every name you can think of. ( I did that once)

(17) Suddenly slam yourself against one of the walls screaming they're magnetic. ( I also did that once)