I don't know why nobody answered so far since I think it is quite good - especially for a first post!
I think I heard some clipping in the mix, and the cymbals stick a little out for me, as well as the snare. Strings are a little flat to me. The last note in the timpani seems to be a little out of tune.
Other than that a very promising piece. I listened to Valley of the King on your site and that is in another league already than this one - composition- and soundwise on a good learning curve.
I definitely agree that the mix is far from perfect, but since writing this piece I have learned a few techniques to improve the overall sound quality of a piece.
This piece was going to be used for a half-life 2 mod, but some of the old team I was in contact with left the mod, and new people have stepped in. Basically I'll probably have to re-apply for the position of soundtrack composer.
About that timpani note, it is possible I put in a flat or sharp note. Sometimes when in a rush, it is hard to know exactly what note (by ear, not music reading) has just been written in. Thanks for pointing this out, I'll double check it. If you're right then all I can say is you have an almost inhuman musical ear! (I use the word inhuman as a compliment!)