- How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
- When we were young we used to go "skinny dipping," now it's "chunky dunk."
- Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
- Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
List some of your reasons to smile