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Topic: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Talking Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    I get a kick out of things some women will send me sometimes like my brother's wife.

    Dear Tech Support:


    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
    the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. Girlfriend 7.0 came with the program Sexual
    Favors 2.0 and the program ran beautifully and I used it quite frequently.
    When I upgraded to Wife 1.0 it automatically deleted that program and I
    have been trying to reinstall it with no success.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
    monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
    10.3,
    Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 ,
    but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

    Thanks,
    Troubled User.....



    REPLY:

    Dear Troubled User:


    This is a very common problem that men complain about.
    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
    SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also
    impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is
    impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
    once installed.
    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child
    Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
    situation. I hate to tell you this but Sexual Favors 2.0 cannot be used
    under the Wife 1.0 operating system but works great with Perfect Wife 3.5
    which is an almost impossible program to find. I suggest installing the
    background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    will return to normal anyway.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
    Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3., Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .
    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
    cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,
    the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
    cause irreversible damage to the operating system!


    Best of luck,

    Tech Support
    Styxx

  2. #2
    Senior Member Richard Berg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    232

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    I first saw this joke at least 10 years ago...and it's still funny Some things are timeless.

  3. #3

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program


  4. #4
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    Quote Originally Posted by etLux
    "Smile ... and make the whole world happy...
    Styxx

  5. #5

  6. #6

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    Anyone have experience in interfacing Wife 1.0 with their mother-in-law board?

  7. #7

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    Turns out Wife 1.0 has a program called Divorce 8.2 beta 1. Due to its unstable nature, it is tough for the user to run it, but the best way to invoke it is to get a new system with Girlfriend 7.0 and install Affair 3.2 on it. Wife 1.0 will notice after a little bit and will initiate Divorce 8.2 beta 1. Unfortunately, this may end in you losing half of everything. However, Wife 1.0 will then downgrade to Mortal Enemy 8.3 and may put Spray Paint 3.2 on Car 6.5. Due to this, you may never be able to obtain Girlfriend 7.0 again.
    Colton J. Provias
    Film Score Composer, Location Sound Mixer, and Sound Editor
    Full-stack Web Developer

  8. #8

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    Quote Originally Posted by moviemaestro
    please make the creepy kitty go away
    Kitty? It's David with morning hair.

  9. #9

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    Quote Originally Posted by Nickie Fønshauge
    Kitty? It's David with morning hair.

  10. #10

    Re: Subject: Wife 1.0 program

    David may look like a cat...but he smells like wet dog.
    Colton J. Provias
    Film Score Composer, Location Sound Mixer, and Sound Editor
    Full-stack Web Developer

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