I get a kick out of things some women will send me sometimes like my brother's wife.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. Girlfriend 7.0 came with the program Sexual
Favors 2.0 and the program ran beautifully and I used it quite frequently.
When I upgraded to Wife 1.0 it automatically deleted that program and I
have been trying to reinstall it with no success.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 ,
but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I hate to tell you this but Sexual Favors 2.0 cannot be used
under the Wife 1.0 operating system but works great with Perfect Wife 3.5
which is an almost impossible program to find. I suggest installing the
background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3., Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Turns out Wife 1.0 has a program called Divorce 8.2 beta 1. Due to its unstable nature, it is tough for the user to run it, but the best way to invoke it is to get a new system with Girlfriend 7.0 and install Affair 3.2 on it. Wife 1.0 will notice after a little bit and will initiate Divorce 8.2 beta 1. Unfortunately, this may end in you losing half of everything. However, Wife 1.0 will then downgrade to Mortal Enemy 8.3 and may put Spray Paint 3.2 on Car 6.5. Due to this, you may never be able to obtain Girlfriend 7.0 again.
Colton J. Provias
Film Score Composer, Location Sound Mixer, and Sound Editor
Full-stack Web Developer