• Register
  • Help
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Topic: To Be

  1. #1

    To Be

    Hi all,

    It's been a while since I've been on the forums. I am sure I've missed some great work! I just started going through some of the most recently posted music and there is some stunning stuff out there! I loved the Dracula Overture.

    Here is a very rough version of a work-in-progress for our latest musical theatre adventures.

    To Be

    It's very much a departure from Spellbound. This is a more modern pop-style musical, set in NYC, based around the life of a young playwright. We have just begun writing the show and this piece still needs a lot of work but we would thoroughly appreciate any artistic feedback you can give. I will refrain from saying what I don't like about it for now, to see if others also pick up on the same things.

    Remember, this is a "demo" so please don't comment on technical aspects of the recording - we just needed to get something down so we could hear it sung. The music was written in Boston, then mp3ed over to England where our demo vocalist recorded his melody and lyrics, then mp3ed it back to us in Boston.

    It is all GPO apart from drums and bass.

    GPO is: Solo violin, cello, piano, clarinet.

    Please be honest with your critique.
    And if you don't like it, then you can always go to:


    and listen to our more orchestral work


    Regards to all,
    "Life is rarely fair..." - Garlan, of Thorandall

  2. #2

    Re: To Be

    Hi Kin, Well I will be honest with my critique... and I understand this is just a first draft or so... It definitely has potential and could grow and develop into a more refined piece. I'll speak in generalities: Everything seemed stationary... and too repetitive. Although I did enjoy the backing vocals and sudden stops and rests; but that wasn't enough to keep my ear interested. It needs colors... the chord progressions and especially the vocal range seem plain. My ear quickly tired of those two elements. However I did like the tempo and swing of the piano; and the word placement was fine. As an artist, when trying to write again after many compositions; you have to start to think out side of your own box you may have created for yourself. I do speak from experience at this... Sometimes you just have to throw away those bag of "tricks" and rethink the approach... OK, I rambled on... and you know more about this style of music and the business... please understand this is just my opinion based on my tastes. Keep working... this absolutely has potential as it matures...
    Hope I helped and did NOT discourage....

    "...Wiktor's a Jekyll-Hyde personality..." - Lycos Music

  3. #3

    Re: To Be

    The vocal was the only thing that stood out in this piece. The music
    seems to be void of any character, no personality. Yet I can imagine
    and hear a future possibilities for this work. Don't give up on it, just take
    your time and listen to the lyrics, then communicate them with the
    instruments. Keep on keeping on !!!

  4. #4

    Re: To Be

    Hi Gershwin, I like the ending of your post... very down to earth...
    Welcome to the forum!

    "...Wiktor's a Jekyll-Hyde personality..." - Lycos Music

  5. #5

    Re: To Be

    Thanks to both of you for taking the time to make some honest criticisms of the work. It's always good to know what people's initial impressions are, and as I said, this was a demo, a first draft of a song for a modern musical. An experiment for us, more than anything else. There's a lot we dislike about it and a lot we like about it. The personality which is being conveyed is deliberately drab, dull, sad and lifeless - since this describes the main character's existence at this point in the show.

    Anyway, many thanks for your comments. They are very helpful and we take criticism very well, positive or negative. We hope you have had the chance to listen to some of our more orchestral theatrical work on our website.

    Here are the links to some of that work, for those interested:

    Opening excerpt
    Just a Girl
    Wish You Were Here
    Caught in a Moment
    Night After Night
    As He Sleeps

    Regards to all,
    "Life is rarely fair..." - Garlan, of Thorandall

  6. #6

    Re: To Be

    Nice work on this, Kin.

    I enjoyed listening.



  7. #7

    Re: To Be

    Thanks David. It's just a first draft of a some new ideas we are playing around with.

    Listened to your 'Lucifer and Ghandi' again the other night, by-the-way.

    Such an awesome piece of writing!

    "Life is rarely fair..." - Garlan, of Thorandall

  8. #8
    Senior Member squoze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004

    Re: To Be

    I like it. It sets up real good.
    I think I would like to hear something like the Robert Fripp e-bow guitar part/drone on David Bowie's "Heroes", or some kind of descant, throughout the song.

Go Back to forum


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts