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Topic: A melody

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  1. #1
    Senior Member fastlane's Avatar
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    A melody

    This is just a melody that needs lyrics.

    The context is a woman has had her heart broken and her world shattered.

    She is singing this alone on a dark stage with a light on her.

    I forgot to cut the guide note and the song would probably resolve to the fifth for a second verse but here there is just one verse. The intro is just a temp.

    She's pouring her heart out here so please be kind.

    http://www.mydocsonline.com/pub/fast...321/Melody.MP3

  2. #2

    Re: A melody

    It's a beautiful and lyrical melody, memorable after just one listen, very nice! I hope you can find lyrics worthy of it, and perhaps develop this into a longer piece... it's simply too short, my ears beg for more...
    Sean Patrick Hannifin
    My MP3s | My Melody Generator | my album
    "serious music" ... as if the rest of us are just kidding

  3. #3
    Senior Member fastlane's Avatar
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    Re: A melody

    Thanks Sean.

    I thought it was a pretty decent melody but wanted some feed back on it.

    It would be at least twice as long with a repeat. There is always the possibility of additional musical ideas.

    Phil

  4. #4

    Re: A melody

    Nice melody, Phil!

    Very memorable.

    I like the length as well... a single verse makes it more personal/precious.

    As far as feedback... the only noticeable element was the background strings...
    It could be interesting to hear them used more as a subtle accompaniment adding variation, rather than following each chord.

    ...but that's just me...

    well done!

    ~Jeff

  5. #5
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    Re: A melody

    Phil,

    Nice melody and background. Simple but very effective and to the point.

    Gary

    www.garybricault.com

  6. #6
    Senior Member fastlane's Avatar
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    Re: A melody

    Quote Originally Posted by jsp2
    Nice melody, Phil!

    Very memorable.

    I like the length as well... a single verse makes it more personal/precious.

    As far as feedback... the only noticeable element was the background strings...
    It could be interesting to hear them used more as a subtle accompaniment adding variation, rather than following each chord.

    ...but that's just me...

    well done!

    ~Jeff
    Thanks for the nice comments and suggestions Jeff.

    This is basically just a demo for the melody so I tried to give it a little back up but I also wanted it to stand on it's own for the forum listener so I kept the strings real basic to make the melody do all the work for the ear.

    Phil

  7. #7
    Senior Member fastlane's Avatar
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    Re: A melody

    Quote Originally Posted by GaryBric
    Phil,

    Nice melody and background. Simple but very effective and to the point.

    Gary

    www.garybricault.com
    I'm pleased you liked it.

    It would be fascinating to have a talented lyricist pen some words for it. I do know the hook(theme or title)would be at the beginning.

    Phil

  8. #8

    Re: A melody

    Nice work on this, Phil. There is so often a simple,
    clear, to-the-point lyricisim in what you write. While
    many of us are busily writing complex landscapes of
    dubious emotive context, you just head straight for
    the heart.

    I hope you'll bring this along to a finished piece, my
    friend!

    My best,

    David
    www.DavidSosnowski.com
    .

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