Yeah, I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Anywho ... Had to go for a stress test last Tuesday (cause me ticker was a ticking a little harder than usual) they found some abnormalities (like we could have told them without the test, right?) Well, yesterday I had to go back for another stress test this time with the injections of radioactive materials so they can take pictures of me heart. (Wouldn't put me down for some wallet size though, cheapskates!)
I gather some of you have gone through this so this may seem miniscule. Nevertheless, it was quite an experience. First, they put ten sensor thingies on me chest (ooo, cold!) Next, they inject me with the first isotope solution. (I'm now an official dirty bomb. ) Next, lay me down on a Star Trek type of imagining machine and tell me to be vewy, vewy, still ... We're hunting whythms! Bones came in with nuse Chaplin and began the procedure. I fell asleep. Best rest I've ever had! Dreamt of being a searchlight for the cost off Cape Cod! After the imaging, it was off to the stair stepper (complete with Daisy Fuentes taking my blood pressure.) Well, first off ... I know no one who walks up a steep hill at such a fast pace! Heck, it was full speed ahead!
"Any chest pains sir?"
Wait, turn it up a few hundred miles an hour and I'll give you some chest pains!
Well, Hemmingway, I made it through (for the second time). Went and sat down for half an hour and was told to make sure I drink at least one full cup of water. I had two! After walking 100 miles up a mountain in 50 seconds I needed two cups of water!
Now it was off to the imaging machine again to finish taking pictures. Nurse Chaplin came in again an this time hooked up a few sensors on me left side and again told me to lay still. Pretty cool machine! I left a GPO sticker on its bumper. This thing wrapped around me with two rather large square devices which moved slightly to the left every twenty-two seconds. Didn't fall asleep this time BECAUSE THE SQUARE DEVICE ON THE RIGHT PINCHED MY RIGHT ARM! "Oh, we're so sorry". Yeah, right! Had to start all over. No matter. After all was completed I was sent home to wait for the results from me doctor.
I can just hear him now.
"Abby - Normal?"
BTW - I was told I can't cross the border to Canada without a doctor’s written explanation why home security detects radioactive substances in me body for at least three weeks! Guess the Canadian Ballet can wait.
Should know of the results by Wednesday. Probably need to install a new driver. Wish me luck!