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Topic: First full orchestra piece

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  1. #1

    First full orchestra piece

    Hello! My name is Matthew, and I'm in 8th grade. I've been doing serious concert band composing for about 2-3 months now, and since I have GPO, I decided to make my first full orchestra piece. I've gotten about 1/2 to 3/4 done with it, and I would kinda some feedback on what I have so far.

    http://www.zshare.net/audio/war-of-t...s-mp3-hx7.html

    This is my first song with strings and first song with a part in 10/8. I'm not good at slow parts, as you can probably tell. Any suggestions will be really helpfull. Thanks.

  2. #2

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    A warm welcome to the forum, Matthew!

    And an excellent introduction of yourself and your
    work, my friend. There's some solid writing in this;
    strong themes; and a real flare for orchestration
    is definitely emerging in this.

    Now. You have to get back to work on this and
    finish it for us! I'm quite serious about this being
    good work, Matthew, and completing it -- will be
    our pleasure to listen to.

    My best,


    David
    www.DavidSosnowski.com
    .

  3. #3

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    Quote Originally Posted by etLux
    A warm welcome to the forum, Matthew!

    And an excellent introduction of yourself and your
    work, my friend. There's some solid writing in this;
    strong themes; and a real flare for orchestration
    is definitely emerging in this.
    Now. You have to get back to work on this and
    finish it for us! I'm quite serious about this being
    good work, Matthew, and completing it -- will be
    our pleasure to listen to.
    My best,
    David
    www.DavidSosnowski.com
    .
    Welcome, Matthew! David's comments speak for me, as well. Finish this, please.
    There are wonderful themes, engrossing choices of instrumentation, and real motion. When you've finished it and put it back up here you'll get some real valuable feedback, supportive and constructive.

    One suggestion: When you repost, look at the thread on posting mp3 files here. The site you've got hosting you pops up all sorts of distracting pages.

    Thank you for sharing your work in progress.


    Joe

  4. #4

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    Matthew, the Listening Room also has an upload
    facility, now. You can read up on that here:

    http://northernsounds.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51506

    Best,

    David
    www.DavidSosnowski.com
    .

  5. #5

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    Thanks everyone. I'm working on it right now.


    I'll look into the uploading thing when I'm done with my piece.

  6. #6

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    Hi and a BIG Welcome!

    I was looking forward to listening to your music - got a bit lost for a minute at your download site as the player did not work with my MAC browser and then I found the download button.

    You definitely seem to have a great sense of orchestration at your young age, changing textures, dynamics and sounds to keep the listener interested at every turn. And very good writing. We are all very impressed and all look forward to the completed version!

    Del
    Music happens to be an art form that transcends language. - Herbie Hancock

    http://www.mdtcommunications.com

  7. #7

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    Hi, Matthew! Wow--Just heard your "War of the Titans" and really loved it. Makes me want to grab a sword and do some serious "swashbuckling" as they used to call it.

    The 10/8 or 5/4 passages were great. I love that time signature, it can really keep the agitation going, and it also can have just a nice "off centered" feel in softer pieces. Nice going with that!

    AN Observation: - You are very fortunate to have GPO available to you, I'm sure you're aware. When I was in the 8th grade I was writing music, but it was all on piano--Just the ivories and Plenty of imagination on my part, hearing the percussion, the strings etc as I banged away at the keys.

    You said you don't think you're so good at the slow parts, and thought we'd automatically agree. It's OK to be self-critical to Some degree, but you're being harder on yourself than is helpful really.

    I think you meant that when you listen to your piece, the slow parts aren't sounding satisfactory to you. OK--That happens to all of us. We decide, "Hmmm, I can do more with that part." Thing is, to not have the Brain on too much when you go into your project to try something more. Try improvising in those sections, try anything that occurs to you in fact with your internal critic turned Off as you work. Come up with things--decide later when you're listening whether or not you want to keep some parts.

    If you want to try something, maybe this will spark an idea--Because of the combative tone to most of your piece, as I listened, I thought perhaps the quiet sections could maintain some of that battle tension by having a fast percussion continuing under the woodwinds, but way under, like the percussion is in the distance and just Threatening to disturb the temporary tranquility.

    That's just one idea--Basically, to keep a war-like texture more continuously present, sometimes just subtle, and then of course those big sections where it swells up and we can see the Titans battling.

    Just brainstorming with you, because this was really fun to listen to. Sure I can hear that you have more to go on this, but it's 4 1/2 minutes at this point, a substantial size--you've done a lot and it's sounding great!

    Randy B.
    (rbowser)

  8. #8

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    First thoughts on listen...

    + wonderful melodic lines and progression... which is by far the most important thing imo. I didn't mind the slow section at all, very lyrical and evocative.

    Now for the "constructive" part... bear in mind I'm still a newbie so take these two points with a grain of salt.

    - the mix is kind of odd and bass-heavy. I really need to strain to hear the higher instruments (clarinet, violins, etc.). It sounds like it was mixed/mastered at too high of a volume. You might want to turn the volume on your soundcard down a few notches and adjust the levels based on what you hear then. The high level of reverb might have something to do with this too (especially in the timpani).

    - I don't always agree with your percussion usage. The crash cymbal in the beginning is overused and unrealistic (it "sounds like a sampler.") You need to trust the music to get the point across and not feel the need to add unnecessary flourishes as you are clearly capable of writing strong musical passages. I had a similar feeling about the last 70 seconds or so where the timpani basically takes on the entire bass voice by itself with little respite. It winds up obscuring the other instruments instead of supporting them.

    Overall a very promising piece and I look forward to hearing its conclusion.

    -Chris

  9. #9

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    You have a great "cinematic" feeling in this, and I love your use of timpani. I agree about backing off on the cymbal crashes a bit -- especially on an MP3 mixdown, they don't sound great.

    It doesn't come across as too bass-heavy on my studio monitors.

    Overall, great work. I was going to say "for someone your age," but really, it's great work regardless. I look forward to hearing it finished.

    loyd

  10. #10

    Re: First full orchestra piece

    Hi Matthew,

    Gosh, what an introduction to this forum. RBrowser told you what to do, so I wouldn't, only in the middle slower section try to maintain anywhere that 5/4 beat in softer drums. That will give sense to the overall thrill and suspense.

    Listen, if you can to that marvellous symphony of Soshtakovitsj ("Leningrad") where he has that rhythm over and over again. Do not copy him, but learn from him.

    And guys, this LISTENING ROOM is just a conservatory. We enjoy music, learn from ideas, mould the things we hear into our own ideas,...... etc. And once in a while DPDAN and other illustruous guys tell us how to render it better.

    Matthew go on, please.

    Raymond

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