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Topic: In Honor of our Moms - Mom's Dictionary

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    South of the Ohio River

    In Honor of our Moms - Mom's Dictionary

    Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
    Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
    Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
    Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
    Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
    Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
    Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
    Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
    Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
    Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
    Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
    Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
    Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
    Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
    Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
    Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
    Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
    Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
    Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
    Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
    Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
    Verbal: Able to whine in words
    Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
    Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

    . . . from Frank Kaiser
    Dayton, Kentucky
    Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Steve_Karl's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Pittsburgh, PA 15206 USA

    Re: In Honor of our Moms - Mom's Dictionary

    LOL ... funny stuff.

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