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Topic: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

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  1. #1

    Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Hey all. I have a small request. This short clip is my first foray into using all (most) of the orchestra instruments in one tune. I know there are a ton of things wrong with it but I'm not sure what they are. That's why I'm posting it here. If anyone can spare some advice on how to improve my sound as it is here, I'd GREATLY appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

    short version:
    http://www.suspenlute.com/cdwg.mp3

    slightly longer version:
    http://www.suspenlute.com/cdwg2.mp3

    -Chris
    There is the music of Johann Sebastian Bach. Therefore there must be a God. You either get this one or you don't - Kreeft & Tacelli
    The will to achieve is not sufficient. Some things should not be achieved. - Rimsky-Korsakov
    Musicians are just these guys that want to make music. Okay, they want to have a wonderful lifestyle, but the majority just want to make really great music. - Jon Anderson


  2. #2

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Hello, Chris--Congrats on your first Listening Room post!

    --Am I losing my powers of discernment?--Because I'm straining to listen for the "ton of things wrong" you think are there--and I'm not hearing them--!

    What a nice piece of music! Original I take it?

    I've been letting it loop--fifth time through now as I type--I have it up pretty loud.--Reasonable amount of reverb so it sounds like it's a concert hall, I'm hearing every instrument. Is the Tympani a bit too loud? hummm, maybe. Brass entrance is nice and bold--Woods are still there in balance with the Strings-

    Sounds like you've used the cc64 legato tool well, as well as cc1 for nice volume and timbre dynamics.

    ----OK--I'm at a loss to find things to rip apart. I love it.

    If somebody comes forward with technical tips for you, I'll pay strict attention to see what they think they're hearing that I'm not!

    Randy B.
    (rbowser)

  3. #3

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    My first was actually the string quartet a while back. But this is my first original. Thanks for the comments though.

    You have also made me realize that posting the truncated version above was a bit counterproductive to the reason I was posting it in the first place so I think I'll edit this post now.

    -Chris
    There is the music of Johann Sebastian Bach. Therefore there must be a God. You either get this one or you don't - Kreeft & Tacelli
    The will to achieve is not sufficient. Some things should not be achieved. - Rimsky-Korsakov
    Musicians are just these guys that want to make music. Okay, they want to have a wonderful lifestyle, but the majority just want to make really great music. - Jon Anderson


  4. #4

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Hello again, Chris--Pardon me, your user name had slipped my mind. OF course, you posted the string quarter recently. Well--then I should say congrats on posting your first Original piece!

    Now I've heard the slightly longer version, and it sounds great. I'm not sure what you mean that I made you realize posting the shorter version was counter-productive to your purpose--? You're wanting some some specific tips for improvement, and thought there would be more chance of getting that with the longer recording, I guess?

    Well, I'll say more definitely this time that I feel the Tympani is a bit too loud. I would also suggest moving the Xylophone off to one side. I think you're using the default pan which is rather centerish? I put mine way off to the left where I often see it in live concerts.

    But the recording sounds very accomplished to me. I step back for the more technoid types to help you out if they can.

    ---personal side note--Truly, thanks again for your effusive response to my "First Strad" posting. It's really lifted my spirits.

    Randy B.
    (rbowser)

  5. #5

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Hi Chris,
    this is a cool piece, and Randy is correct... the timpani are too loud and it wouldn't hurt to use a little more reverb on the timpani to make them sound farther away, make sure you use enough but not too much.

    I would duplicate your violins midi tracks, and assign the same track to violins 1 short bows KS AG, this will allow you to "mix in" the aggresive punch when you need it, like the three notes at 17 seconds and some other places too. You may want to not use the other violin tracks if you encounter phasing, (a swishy hollow sound).

    Just an idea as I listened.
    Thanks for sharing this Chris.

    Dan

  6. #6

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Quote Originally Posted by rbowser-
    I'm not sure what you mean that I made you realize posting the shorter version was counter-productive to your purpose--? You're wanting some some specific tips for improvement, and thought there would be more chance of getting that with the longer recording, I guess?
    I cut out the second half because it didn't sound quite the way I wanted it to, but then I wised up and remembered that my whole intent in sharing it was to search for ways to make it closer to what I wanted.

    Quote Originally Posted by rbowser-
    ---personal side note--Truly, thanks again for your effusive response to my "First Strad" posting. It's really lifted my spirits.
    You're welcome. That tune really has reminded me what this is all about.

    -Chris
    There is the music of Johann Sebastian Bach. Therefore there must be a God. You either get this one or you don't - Kreeft & Tacelli
    The will to achieve is not sufficient. Some things should not be achieved. - Rimsky-Korsakov
    Musicians are just these guys that want to make music. Okay, they want to have a wonderful lifestyle, but the majority just want to make really great music. - Jon Anderson


  7. #7

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Quote Originally Posted by DPDAN
    I would duplicate your violins midi tracks, and assign the same track to violins 1 short bows KS AG, this will allow you to "mix in" the aggresive punch when you need it, like the three notes at 17 seconds and some other places too.
    Thanks for the tip... I suppose this would be the good time to experiment with ensemble building since as it is every instrument only has one track and the keyswitches are used kind of unnecessarily ...

    -Chris
    There is the music of Johann Sebastian Bach. Therefore there must be a God. You either get this one or you don't - Kreeft & Tacelli
    The will to achieve is not sufficient. Some things should not be achieved. - Rimsky-Korsakov
    Musicians are just these guys that want to make music. Okay, they want to have a wonderful lifestyle, but the majority just want to make really great music. - Jon Anderson


  8. #8

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Great job Chris.

    I liked this very much. My only comment is that I thought the piece could afford a little more dynamic variation within the instruments. You are achieving lots of dynamics with differnet sections, but internally I think there is room for some more in some places - particularly two places stand out for me. The first, roughly half way through (around bar 35 I think) there is a sustained series with clarinets(?) and I think they could build to more of a crescendo at the end of the last full note. And right at the end, third and fourth last bars could be louder.

    But I am nitpicking, and only because you asked for any comments.

    I really liked it!

    Thanks for sharing.


    Alan

  9. #9
    Senior Member rayzalaf's Avatar
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    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Nice work Chris,

    Well done on this interesting piece for your first post. I concur with the other replies on the use of varying note velocities etc. It's only since joining this forum that I've paid much attention to these issues myself Chris.
    Just keep on doing what you do and you'll get these humanising things sorted.

    My Best

    Ray

  10. #10

    Re: Where did I go wrong? (0:40)

    Hello again, Chris

    I found myself wanting to hear your piece again, so while I'm here on the thread, also wanted to help other people find this so they can enjoy also.

    Hope your new projects are going well.--there ARe new projects, yes?

    Randy B.
    (rbowser)

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