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Topic: 3 new sheet music

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  1. #1

    3 new sheet music

    Recently I made three scores with Finale. I would like to share these and seek any critiques/opinions (both positive and negative):

    Lament for Solo Piano
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/music/lament-f.pdf

    Agitato for Strings
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/music/agitato.pdf

    Tranquillo for Strings
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/music/tranquillo.pdf

    Because "Lament" is rendered by non-GPO piano and Agitato/Tranquillo were rendered by GPO and uploaded here once before, I will not put link to them. If interested, you will find them in my web site.

    Thank you very much.

    Sincerely,
    Jun Yamamoto
    Tokyo, Japan
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/
    MIDI AND SAMPLING TECHNOLOGY HAS OPENED AN ENTIRE NEW WORLD OF MUSIC!

  2. #2
    Senior Member rwayland's Avatar
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    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Quote Originally Posted by Jun Yamamoto
    Recently I made three scores with Finale. I would like to share these and seek any critiques/opinions (both positive and negative):

    Lament for Solo Piano
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/music/lament-f.pdf

    Agitato for Strings
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/music/agitato.pdf

    Tranquillo for Strings
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/music/tranquillo.pdf

    Because "Lament" is rendered by non-GPO piano and Agitato/Tranquillo were rendered by GPO and uploaded here once before, I will not put link to them. If interested, you will find them in my web site.

    Thank you very much.

    Sincerely,
    Well, I just printed the piano piece, and will go try it in a few minutes.

    Comments later, maybe not till morning, as I seem to be getting sleepy now, but I will play it now. I looks good.

    Richard

  3. #3

    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Quote Originally Posted by rwayland
    Well, I just printed the piano piece, and will go try it in a few minutes.

    Comments later, maybe not till morning, as I seem to be getting sleepy now, but I will play it now. I looks good.

    Richard
    Thank you, Richard. Appreciate your giving a try to the piece.

    It is really getting late in California by now.

    Sincerely,
    Jun Yamamoto
    Tokyo, Japan
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/
    MIDI AND SAMPLING TECHNOLOGY HAS OPENED AN ENTIRE NEW WORLD OF MUSIC!

  4. #4

    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Absolutely enjoyed the Agitato, very flowing, very... dare I say it, agitated. It in some parts reminds me of something I would hear walking my dog in the park ,others it seemed more "villainess". If I could play 5 or six notes at a time on tuba, I too would try to play it, but since I am no piano player, or a Tibetan Gyuto Monk, I think singing all the parts would be out of my reach also. However, with the realization it is very brilliantly portrayed. I will listen to the others shortly, but for now I have to finish packing, as I am moving out in a few days. Love your work!
    Yours Truly,
    TubaJediMaster
    May the Fourth Be With You

    My demos:
    http://www.box.net/shared/ejtluyupfb

  5. #5

    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Thank you for your giving a listen to my music and your comment on it.

    Quote Originally Posted by tubajedimr
    It in some parts reminds me of something I would hear walking my dog in the park ,others it seemed more "villainess".
    I actually do not really understand what you hear when you walk your dog in the park but you can say that music can be sure sometimes a villainess.

    Good luck for your moving!

    Sincerely,
    Jun Yamamoto
    Tokyo, Japan
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/
    MIDI AND SAMPLING TECHNOLOGY HAS OPENED AN ENTIRE NEW WORLD OF MUSIC!

  6. #6
    Senior Member sosmus's Avatar
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    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Jun:
    I have just listened to "Lament" and "Agitato."
    "Lament" is beautiful melodically and harmonically, but I was a little bothered by those sudden frenetic rhythmic injections. To me, they detracted rather than contribute to the whole.
    "Agitato" is brilliant, and the ending is prefect. If I had to criticise anything, it would be those rather "vanilla" passages, based on diminished chords I believe. I wanted to hear a "wrong note" or two to keep the agitation stirring. Wonderful orchestration. I have a deep admiration for your musicality and imagination.

    Steve

  7. #7

    Re: 3 new sheet music

    I gather you're looking for feedback on the scores, right? Otherwise you would've linked straight to the mp3s. Of course I'm also searching your website, and just found Lament so I'm also listening.

    Lament:

    The score is rather clean, but there are several things you could fix.
    The tittle: Underneath the title, it is customary to put the instruments for which this score is writen for (piano in this case). Without that, someone finding the score, won't know for what instrument it's writen. So add a For Piano underneath the "Lament".
    Andante Lamentabile: The two words clash together. Seperate them
    measure numbers: You don't need to have measure numbers in all 3 staves. the top staff is more than enough. Just delete the second and third staff measure numbers from the options of the staff tool.
    bar 4 (being a bit smartarse here, sorry): You have a small crescento in 1 note. This is simply not possible in piano. I understand that you want to make it a bit louder, but it would be sane to extend the dynamic crescento sign (the <) to a couple of more notes. Plus, you start at mf, and with the crescento the player doesn't really know, where to go dynamic wise. Will it go to f? ff? mf + something? It could be good to add the dynamic of where you're heading etc.
    A lot of dynamics are on the staff lines, which is not nice, or even clash with noteheads, notes, etc. Make sure you seperate everything.
    Lastly it could benefit if you found a way to fit those 3 bars in the end, to the previous systems, so as to save 1 page. Why waste a full page, everytime one prints the score?

    Music sounds very nice, and the mp3 souds really nice, especially if you have recorded it in 1985!


    Agitato/tranquilo: Same things apply with the measure numbers, and the various elemtns (dynamics mainly) clashing with notes, etc
    One other thing that you need to do is to add the bracket in front of the whole system, taking up all 5 staves. This way you will also have a single line connecting the 5 staves, in every bar, which is the way to do it.
    Also try and leave a bit of space from the left side, for the names to fit. They are almost out of the page. Anyone printing it, would have trouble putting the 2 pages together.
    agitato bar 55: After that you could put if those chords are div. or non div. It might confuse live players, since there is an ensemble and not solo strings.
    There are a lot of "instructions" for strings missing really. up/down bows, legatos, etc.

    The music to both string tracks is very very nice. I would love to hear a live performance of that track!

  8. #8
    Senior Member rwayland's Avatar
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    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Greetings, Jun!

    Well, I played it a couple of times from the PDF score, then downloaded the mp3 from your site. I like the piece, will keep the score and play it now and then. There are some problems, but not serious. I will have some comments later. For now, I will say that it does not fit the hands well, or at least, my hands! But that is probably true of much of my own music. The main point is that it is a good piece of music. I may send my remaining comments by pm or email.

    Richard

  9. #9

    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Quote Originally Posted by sosmus
    Jun:
    I have just listened to "Lament" and "Agitato."
    "Lament" is beautiful melodically and harmonically, but I was a little bothered by those sudden frenetic rhythmic injections. To me, they detracted rather than contribute to the whole.
    I appreciate your opinion. I agree that the "interruption" in the middle of the piece is a kind of losing balance of the whole while it is natural development of my musical idea from inside.

    Quote Originally Posted by sosmus
    "Agitato" is brilliant, and the ending is prefect. If I had to criticise anything, it would be those rather "vanilla" passages, based on diminished chords I believe. I wanted to hear a "wrong note" or two to keep the agitation stirring.
    For this point, I also agree. I could have some distortion or variation of the repetition of diminished 5th and semi-tone. Yes. You are right. Later I may amend that part.

    Steve, thank you very much for your candid opinion. To seek other's critique is only way for me to improve my composition as currently I have no particular composition teacher.

    Sincerely,
    Jun Yamamoto
    Tokyo, Japan
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/
    MIDI AND SAMPLING TECHNOLOGY HAS OPENED AN ENTIRE NEW WORLD OF MUSIC!

  10. #10

    Re: 3 new sheet music

    Quote Originally Posted by rwayland
    Greetings, Jun!

    Well, I played it a couple of times from the PDF score, then downloaded the mp3 from your site. I like the piece, will keep the score and play it now and then. There are some problems, but not serious. I will have some comments later. For now, I will say that it does not fit the hands well, or at least, my hands! But that is probably true of much of my own music. The main point is that it is a good piece of music. I may send my remaining comments by pm or email.

    Richard
    Thank you very much for your taking time for my pieces.

    I agree that "Lament" requires a little tricky arpeggio of left hand. (Also agree that your music requires sometimes tricky technique )

    I look forward to hearing from you more.

    Sincerely,
    Jun Yamamoto
    Tokyo, Japan
    http://jun.music.coocan.jp/
    MIDI AND SAMPLING TECHNOLOGY HAS OPENED AN ENTIRE NEW WORLD OF MUSIC!

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