Every month or so, somebody starts a thread asking for the best orchestral library. This is fine for normal people, but what about masochists? Wouldn't they be shopping for the worst orchestral library?
I figure that the World's Worst Orchestral Library (WWOL™) would have:
* A really, really high price
* Limited instruments
* Few articulations
* Bad tuning
* Bad performances
* Bad recording techniques
* Recorded with lots of reverb that sucks
* Poor, inconsistent programming
* Legato? Yeah, right.
* Really bad demos
* Locked to a single player - with bugs
* Has at least one dongle - more would be better
* Accepting payments today - cash only
* Isn't shipping yet. No firm date announced.
Sure, Audio Impressions' Realtime Orchestra Strings is a strong competitor, based on cost per instrument alone. They are accepting a $3,500 deposit on an $11,999 product - strings only, not yet shipping.
Unfortunately AI is using some good techniques, and might turn out a really nice product someday. That simply won't do.
Therefore I would like to announce JF's WWOL™. The initial deposit is one million dollars, and the final price and shipping date have not yet been determined. I am not prepared to discuss features that the product lacks, and there are no demos at this time. But, believe me, it really, really sucks. The player really sucks. Everything about it sucks. The 32 required dongles are a fire and health hazard. This library cannot be used in countries that have extradition treaties. Once you purchase this product, I own all rights to everything that you ever have or will compose.
If you are a wealthy masochistic composer, this is the product for you!
If you would like to make a deposit on JF's WWOL™, please send me a private message, and I will direct you to my personal Swiss bank deposit procedure.
You WILL be disappointed.
JF's WWOL™. Simply the worst.
NSS Moderators - I know it's against policy to promote sample libs not advertised on NSS, but please don't delete. If I get a single deposit from this, I'll definitely buy some ads!