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Topic: Weird Pop

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  1. #1

    Weird Pop: Changed Arrangment

    Hi again. You guys gave me some really good tips last time so I thought I'd try again. Most of the stuff I do with the band has guitar, bass and drums, but this just GPO. I was sort of going for the vibe of Part, Tavener, Gorecki kind of holy minimalism thing, Grim lyrics again. Sorry. I'd welcome any criticism. Last time you were very helpful.
    Listen
    Last edited by Temple Cloud; 01-28-2008 at 07:48 PM. Reason: Updated Song

  2. #2

    Re: Weird Pop

    Good writing Temple. The GPO orchestration is well handled and provides a good backdrop for the vocals on this. Great voice too - and good to hear GPO being used in a rather different context. Enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.

    Graham

    Is Temple Cloud anything to do with the village near Bath?

  3. #3

    Re: Weird Pop

    This is a very nice piece. My only suggestion and you did ask for them, right?

    Caveat!!! This is only a suggestion as I would interpret this piece. As it stands now, it is a very good piece of music. I am just giving you my humble suggestions, so take them with a grain of sand.

    The string and oboe parts need to breath. I know that string players can play notes much longer than wind players, but they do need to change bow direction. The oboe can sustain long notes, but you are really taxing the oboist. I know, its a sample and can loop all day. But to get life into a stark straight long tone requuires breathe and direction of line. Have the oboe (and strings for that matter) crescendo through their long notes to the next chord change and then decrescendo back a little. Even though they are long notes, they shouldn't be stagnate. The piece has such a lovely lyrical quality to it and the vocal is very warm an engaging. Try to sing the oboe and string parts yourself and add the same dynamic structure to them.

    Thanks for sharing a very wonderful little piece of music.
    [Music is the Rhythm, Harmony and Breath of Life]
    "Music is music, and a note's a note" - Louis 'Satchmo' Armstrong

    Rich

  4. #4

    Re: Weird Pop

    Hi, Temple Cloud - I'm glad to see you fixed up your link. First time I came to this thread it wasn't working.

    Atmospheric!--in an intriguing way. Wonderful marriage of the GPO instruments with the good vocal.

    So short! I felt it was just getting started when it suddenly ended -!?

    RichR has done an Excellent job in saying exactly what occurred to me as I listened. The long held notes would be more effective with some volume variations, and the same is true of the Oboe--And, as Rich pointed out, it's rather noticeable that you're not allowing the Oboist to breathe. Putting some logical breath rests in will instantly make this recording more effective.

    I'm less inclined to agree about the constant strings. When string notes are held this long, I think there's an implied bowing and so it's acceptable. Having that constant wash of the strings is one of the key reasons this song is so atmospheric.

    I do think it needs development, expanding. But then you may have a particular reason for keeping it so very brief.

    Thanks!

    Randy B.

  5. #5

    Re: Weird Pop

    I must corrrect myself on what rbowser implied from my comments...

    rbowser:
    I'm less inclined to agree about the constant strings. When string notes are held this long, I think there's an implied bowing and so it's acceptable. Having that constant wash of the strings is one of the key reasons this song is so atmospheric.
    I di not want to imply that you should shorten string lengths at all. I understand bowing will be hidden in sustained notes if orchestras do their job correctly . I was trying to point out that a violinist does in fact breathe with the music and does shape the intensity of the bowing to show direction in the chordal progression. No-one-plays-a-stead-y-ev-en-note-un-less-you-are-a-com-pu-ter. (Sorry, trying to give you the point as if a robot were saying the last sentence.)

    AND PLEASE, do not get me wrong, I love the piece and I like how you presented it. It is charming. I was adding my 2 cents worth as a suggestion.

    All the best,
    [Music is the Rhythm, Harmony and Breath of Life]
    "Music is music, and a note's a note" - Louis 'Satchmo' Armstrong

    Rich

  6. #6

    Re: Weird Pop

    AH, yes, I see, Rich - Thanks for the greater detail. I totally agree with you - The sustained string sections in this need more dynamic variation, they need to breathe more with the music just as you have said. Earlier I did think you were saying there was a problem with non-stop sustained string notes--Gotcha now.

    Hope our comments are helpful, Temple.

    Randy B.

  7. #7

    Re: Weird Pop

    Don't you just hate semantics, Randy? They get in the way of what we actually mean so many times. It is very hard sometimes to make sure what one has said is what one has meant.
    [Music is the Rhythm, Harmony and Breath of Life]
    "Music is music, and a note's a note" - Louis 'Satchmo' Armstrong

    Rich

  8. #8

    Re: Weird Pop

    Thanks guys. Just the kind of suggestions I was looking for! And lots of clarity from that little dialogue between the two of you. I'll rework it a bit.
    It will stay short though!

    @ Graham. I live in Bristol, and just liked the name of the village Temple Cloud. I'm not from there or anything, but I drive through it now and again.

  9. #9
    Senior Member fastlane's Avatar
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    Re: Weird Pop

    I think you have some good ideas here. It sounds like the band comes in next.

    One thing you might try is panning the instruments to the sides just a little more so there is more space for the vocal to shine through.



    Phil

  10. #10

    Re: Weird Pop

    Thanks all. I had another go at this. Did the breathing thing with the oboe, tried to get the strings to be a bit more dynamic (not too much though. They're meant to be quite static) added basses and a couple more melodic lines on the strings.
    I think it's loads better (but it's not going on get any longer. The brevity is part of the point. It's an album track and will lead into something, but a different piece). Your mileage may differ.

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