• Register
  • Help
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21

Topic: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

Share/Bookmark
  1. #1
    Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Orcas Island
    Posts
    11,454

    New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    I am pleased to announce our latest product - the new Left Handed Aria Sample Player which will be launched on the 1st day of April.

    The new ARIA player has undergone a new design to make it more comfortable for allow left-handed users greater comfortability and control.

    Left-handed musicians are a valuable part of our heritage. Paul McCartney is a lefty as was Jimmy Hendrix and many others,

    The new Left-Handed interface will have all the controls rotated a full 360 degrees. The buffering and RAM will have left-tending propensities. This version of the Player is also optimize for the left-handed ergonomic computer mouse and left-handed midi keyboards.

    We are happy to do our part to right a wrong that has plagued many musicians. We will be posting demos to urge all of our left handed users to hear the difference.

    Initially, the Left-Handed Player will be available in Scotland, however, we plan to make it available in other areas with large left-handed populations.

  2. #2

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    Finally, something close to fair!

    Since the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, we can conclude that only left handed people are in their right minds. This would make a Left Handed Aria Player the RIGHT thing to do.

    You are to be applauded, Gary.

  3. #3

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    Quote Originally Posted by jmpaquette View Post
    Finally, something close to fair!

    Since the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, we can conclude that only left handed people are in their right minds. This would make a Left Handed Aria Player the RIGHT thing to do.

    You are to be applauded, Gary.
    Well said sir, well said!!

  4. #4

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    As a southpaw and the Assistant to the Undersecretary of the Associate Vice President of the Association for Ending Sample Injustices Related to Hand Dominance, I will forward this momentous announcement to my superiors.

    I expect this development to have great implications for the community and I applaud Garritan for taking the left step forward!

  5. #5

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    I demand a recount.

  6. #6

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    Quote Originally Posted by Garritan View Post
    The new Left-Handed interface will have all the controls rotated a full 360 degrees.
    I suggest 720 degress for better effectivity. More is always better.
    All your strings belong to me!
    www.strings-on-demand.com

  7. #7

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    Being sinistrous myself, I urge Gary to follow his one-day-only Left-Handed Aria offer with a full version of the Left-Handed Steinway, playable only with two left hands. The music thus produced would be danceable-to only by those with two left feet. How long would you need for this, Gary ? - shall we say this time next year ?

  8. #8

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    Quote Originally Posted by Garritan View Post
    I am pleased to announce our latest product - the new Left Handed Aria Sample Player which will be launched on the 1st day of April.

    The new ARIA player has undergone a new design to make it more comfortable for allow left-handed users greater comfortability and control.

    Left-handed musicians are a valuable part of our heritage. Paul McCartney is a lefty as was Jimmy Hendrix and many others,

    The new Left-Handed interface will have all the controls rotated a full 360 degrees. The buffering and RAM will have left-tending propensities. This version of the Player is also optimize for the left-handed ergonomic computer mouse and left-handed midi keyboards.

    We are happy to do our part to right a wrong that has plagued many musicians. We will be posting demos to urge all of our left handed users to hear the difference.

    Initially, the Left-Handed Player will be available in Scotland, however, we plan to make it available in other areas with large left-handed populations.
    Hello Gary,

    Can we have a screenshot?
    Michael
    Patience is a virtue, sensitivity is a gift

  9. #9

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    This is indeed good news for all of us lefties!

    Sadly, though, I am unable to effectively use this new version of the Aria Sample Player. You see, I broke the middle finger of my left hand while waving hello to a motorist who passed me by in a No Passing zone. The passenger of that car saw me "waving hello" and started throwing things at me and my car. In defense, I pushed the button to roll up the driver's side window to which my finger got caught as it rolled up, thereby breaking that finger.

    I'm taking heavy doses of morphine just to ease the pain of my broken finger. My mind is too foggy from the medication to write any music, anyway. I can barely see the keyboard as I type this post (using all fingers except the broken one, of course)! So, because of my broken finger, and because my mind is clouded by pain medication, I am unable to purchase the new Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player at this time.

    Oops! I hear my wife calling! Got to go! She wants me to drive down to the store and purchase some milk for the coffee. Can't have coffee without milk!!

    Now. . . Where did I put the car keys???
    Music and humor are healthy for the soul.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Seneca, NY
    Posts
    11,075

    Re: New: The Garritan Left-Handed Aria Sample Player

    This is nice news for lefties but do you have one for a person who is all thumbs?
    Styxx

Go Back to forum

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •