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Topic: Karen Peace's Mom

  1. #1

    Karen Peace's Mom

    Hi everyone,
    I have been scarce lately for a couple of reasons. One is that I had a bit of trouble logging in during the server switcheroo on northernsounds. Another is that I had to fly out to Mass. to see my mom, who in the past 2 years, has gone from a very busy, active 80 year old doing hatha yoga regularly (really!) and doing all manner of things for and with her church, to a frail, reclusive, arthritis-suffering, depressed woman who sleeps much of the time, has lost her appetite (along with about 40 pounds), and who is refusing almost all offers of help, shutting out callers and friends, and seems generally unable to handle life in general. She will not even let me talk with her doctor, nor name a medical power-or-attorney, etc, and is feeling overwhelmed at all the suggestions coming her way (so am I). She is not the woman I knew two years ago; it seems that she is just waiting to die, and this is very distressing, as I live 2000 miles away and am her only child, and her next closest relative is 1000 miles away.

    I'd like to send a warm heartfelt thanks to those of you who have been a support during this time. It made alot of difference.

    Listen at: www.soundclick.com/kepeaceusa
    Scores at: http://stores.lulu.com/ke_peace

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Perth, Western Australia

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    Hi Karen

    Trying to care for elderly relatives can be a real heartache. Not only do we see them deteriorate in a heartbreaking way, some times they themselves are not willing or able to accept help.

    My Sisters Father in Law is just going through a similar situation. He has suddenly withdrawn from the world and is very paranoid about everything.
    He would not answer his 'phone or come to the door. His natural daughter had the awful experience of having him refuse to see or talk to her, because he was certain that she had died. Luckily she managed to cajole, plead and downright bully him into a major hospital where is currently undergoing tests to try and find out what is going on.

    I do hope that you are able to get your Mother to feel more comfortable and are able to draw her out of herself.

    Best wishes to you and your Mum.


    Daz :0)

  3. #3

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    Hi Karen,

    I wondered where you went! I have a similar situation and while not as distant I am still in Chicago and mom is in Richmond. She refuses to see any doctors, is depressed, sleeps all day, has no appetite and wants no help at all. Just know that you are not alone in this - many of us are going through it as I can tell by reading the posts above. I know it doesn't make it any easier - it's heartbreaking and frustrating. Hang in.
    In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.

    http://reberclark.blogspot.com http://reberclark.bandcamp.com http://www.youtube.com/reberclark

  4. #4

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    Hi Karen,
    I have a prayer list sitting on my nightstand, and I will put you and your Mom on it.

    Difficult times,


  5. #5

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    Hi Karen,

    I've never dialogued with you before, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about both you and your mom and the challenges that both of you are facing. I have worked for the past 12 years with the elderly as a recreational therapist, so I am constantly around residents who are like your mom. Have you looked into a possible caregiver who could spend some time with her? Not all of the time, of course, but perhaps a few hours a week. The challenge, of course, is finding someone she could connect with.

    I know this is tough. I've been there with my own dad. It makes it even more challenging being far away. None of my family lives close to where my dad lives, so we are always facing challenges regarding his mental and physical health.

    Please look after yourself as well. You can do only so much from where you are. You have a support system here with the people on this forum. We will be there for you.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. Take care.

    Serenity Musician (Gary A.)

    HP Pavilion Elite, Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit, 12 gig ram, 1 terabyte hd., E-MU 0404, Korg K61, Finale 2012, Sonar X2 Producer

  6. #6

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    Hi Karen,
    really sorry to hear this!! I'm just finding out what it's like when someone you love suddenly becomes a different person - it hurts beyond belief. I'll keep you and your mum in my prayers.

  7. #7

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    I truely sympathize with you Karen . My own mother is 84 and the past year has seen a dramatic, sad and scary change.

    Seeing the item on the news the other day about the arthritis drug in Britain being tested for alzheimers and knowing it will be tested and approved far to late to do my mother any good is ..... sad.

    The drug was Tanercept, injected into the neck. The head was then lowered for several minutes. Results were immediate and stunning. A man who hadnt recognized his own wife for a long time called her by name, gave her a hug and said he missed her.

    Not saying this like its your mother. Just venting some of my own concern.
    Best of blessings to you and your mother.

  8. #8

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    Ern you might be better off sticking to the fish oil, one certified to be free of heavy metals.

    ( shark oil has been singled out as being high in mercury. )

  9. #9

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    All medicines can't cure the wish living nearer to your dear ones. I wish you all the strenght and my prayers are for you and your mom. It is sad to see you dear mom losing interest in life....


  10. #10

    Re: Karen Peace's Mom

    My own Mom's 87, Karen; and I'm sole charge taking care
    of her and her affairs. I guess a great many of us are now
    in the same circumstances... and I can certainly sympathize
    with your own situation.

    Answers, alas, I do not have; but I'll be sure to add you and
    your mother to those I keep in my thoughts each night.

    Hang in there, Karen...

    My best,


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