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Topic: My Mom

  1. #1

    My Mom

    I found out yesterday, a couple of hours before a performance of my "Indiana" musical, that my mother (she lives next door to me) was diagnosed with colon cancer. She was in the hospital last week getting 2 units of blood and 4 units of plasma. While scoping here they found the tumor. She is getting a CT scan today and seeing a surgeon tomorrow to schedule the operation.
    She is taking it well and so are we. She is 85 and ok with whatever happens.
    Over the years we have talked about death and dying and what we would do.
    Last night we were talking and I said - well, Mom - what is the worst that could happen?
    You die and see Jesus and Marlin (my younger brother - he died of AIDS 14 years ago) - sounds like a good deal.

    She really agreed and said she is ready to go whenever it might happen.
    She said you have to die of something after all! That is SO my mom!
    I am guessing her surgery is early next week.

    We are hoping to get her to Ft.Wayne over the weekend so we can pull off a surprise remodel that we had planned before any of this came up. A crew is coming Friday morning to put in a pocket door in her small bathroom and take out the bath and put in a stand up shower with a seat. She will be thrilled when she walks in. All of my siblings are contributing to make this a family love gift for her. It will be much safer for her and an enormous help after her cancer surgery.
    I dropped my beloved 30 year-old Martin D-35 guitar Sunday at church and it sustained major damage.
    Years ago I might have been very upset - but perspective does something to you as you age.
    You can be in prayer for Amy if you will.

    MacPro 2.66 - Tiger & Snow Leopard / 16GB RAM / several TB of HD space/ Garritan Libraries / EWQLSO Platinum PLAY / Omnisphere/ Kontakt 2 & 3 / Finale 2010 /DP5/ a VERY patient wife!

  2. #2
    Senior Member bigears's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Central Illinois

    Re: My Mom

    Our family has very recently gone through a similar experience. Our 92 year old father was diagnosed with multiple aggressive cancers and was able to return to his home under hospice arrangements where he passed away soon after. He was in his own home, surrounded by family and a few friends, and had been relatively active up to the end. What comfort we have is knowing how peacefully it ended and how much worse it might have been. You have my greatest sympathy and I will be hoping you can pull off your surprise for her, what fun! So sorry about the guitar, hope it can be mended in time. If you need a loaner I might be able to help.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    West Seneca, NY

    Re: My Mom

    Charles, First, let me offer our prayers and support for your mom and your family during this trying time. I have a list of members I say prayers for each night and you and your mom are in my prayers.
    As for the guitar? Funny you should mention how material things come in to true perspective as we get older. All that stuff we gather can be replaced but a love one is much more valuable.

    My best to you and yours!

  4. #4

    Re: My Mom

    Charles, while both my parents are 78 and doing well,
    my Mom is very positive like your Mom,
    My wish for you is peace.

  5. #5

    Re: My Mom


    Your family is on our prayer list.

    Jim Williams
    Professor of Capitalism
    Indianapolis Brass Choir
    All Your Bass Sus&Short Are Belong to Us.

  6. #6

    Re: My Mom

    I'm so sorry to hear of this news. I will pray that you and your family has the strength to deal with this and that there be healing and peace. If I can help in anyway, please PM me.
    Take Care,

  7. #7
    Senior Member Leaf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Dallas, TX

    Re: My Mom

    You guys have my prayers, Charles. My Dad is now over 90 although i don't exactly how mush, but in his mid to late 80s he had an operation for the same thing. He for some reason didn't tell any of us he had cancer until he was declared cured.

    I guess he didn't want us to worry, but i think he should have told us. He said the chemo made him weak for a while, but it didn't ever make his hair fall out like they said it would... it just thinned out a little.

    I think the doctors and their methods keep getting better and better and people usually survive it. I'll pray for your Mom to not have to go through any of that at all, and that until she goes home to be with Jesus, she has strength and good health and no more ordeals like this one.


  8. #8

    Re: My Mom

    I appreciate your words of comfort. Mom saw a surgeon on Thursday and will have her surgery on Monday, May 5. The CT scan did not show any other tumors, so that is very good.

    My sister took her to Ft. Wayne for the weekend or a little longer, so we could do the surprise remodel. They started yesterday and it is going well. They will finish today or tomorrow. My Mom will be so thrilled. I am posting photos here: http://charlesmoman.smugmug.com/gall...84653997_Bykc9

    for my family to see how the work is going.

    About my Martin D-35. I hope to see a guitar tech today. My insurance man collects guitars, including Martins. He suggested that I have the tech "total" the guitar if he does not think it will be fixed and will hold. Over the phone, after describing the damage, he thinks it will be a tricky repair that may not hold over time.

    So . . . I should be getting an insurance check soon and a new acoustic/electric. I will be trying out some Taylors and Martins today.

    Thanks for your concern.

    MacPro 2.66 - Tiger & Snow Leopard / 16GB RAM / several TB of HD space/ Garritan Libraries / EWQLSO Platinum PLAY / Omnisphere/ Kontakt 2 & 3 / Finale 2010 /DP5/ a VERY patient wife!

  9. #9

    Re: My Mom

    Dear Charles,

    Thanks for your post and a big bravo to your Mom for her equanimity in the treading the path we all must walk, one way or another, someday and another big bravo to your family for giving such a gift of love (and surpirse!). You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Thank you also for everyone who posted here -- it lets me know none of us are alone in these trials -- I guess for me it seems to be part of middle age, isn't it?

    I used to be a music volunteer in a hospice, and was SO impressed with the responsiveness and care of hospice staff -- many are deeply spiritual and cater so devotedly to the desires and needs of the patient, rather than to the usual medical dictum to preserve the length of life at any cost -- even at the cost of quality of life itself. During my time there, I also derived as much or more inspiration from the patients and their families as from the staff, too. I trust your experience with hospice will be an inspiring one.

    I have so many beautiful stories I could share from that time! Here are a few: One lady, who was diabetic, said how much she liked the cherry pie they served. So a staff person said she would go get another slice from the kitchen. "You don't understand", the patient said, "I would like a whole pie!" So they brought her one!

    Another is the time I was bringing my guitar around and playing and singing for people. I went into one lady's room, who seemed unresponsive, and started singing Amazing Grace I think it was -- and she started singing with me. It is amazing the power music can have to soothe and heal....

    I also heard staff tell of a man who told the staff that there were a bunch of fairy- or angel-type beings dancing in his room, and that they wanted the staff all to dance with them. So the staff did, and the man was delighted.

    Another time, when I was directing a small multi-faith chorus there, we were requested to sing just outside the door of a woman who was what they call "actively dying" -- ie, in her last moments. We had learned songs from various traditions, so we could sing according to the patient's beliefs. For her, we sang "Veni Sancte Spiritus" from the Taize tradition, very gently as she was dying. That was one of the most moving experiences I had there -- to be invited to participate in what now seems to me to be a very sacred event.

    It is a great blessing for your mom that she has such a loving family and a deep faith. My heart rejoices to see it, and sends you all lots of love!

    Listen at: www.soundclick.com/kepeaceusa
    Scores at: http://stores.lulu.com/ke_peace

  10. #10

    Re: My Mom

    Lovely post from Karen here.

    I too think it is wonderful how your mother has reacted to the news and inspiring how you have rallied to improve her lot by showing you really care and love her.

    Thank you for sharing.

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