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Topic: Save the Pianos!

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  1. #1
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    Save the Pianos!

    Since the story about some students in Aberystwyth setting a piano on fire and claiming it was art, there has been a rash of piano molestations appearing on youtube.



    Music Thing is reporting the following piano abuses:
    1. Throw it off a cliff, set fire to it
    2. Shoot it with shotguns and an AK47
    3. Knock it over and jump on it
    4. Jens Johansson (who is Yngwie Malmsteen's keyboard player) smashes up an old piano while giggling hysterically
    5. Back a pickup truck into it
    6. Play it with a JCB digger (this one really is the stuff of nightmares)
    7. Drive over it in an enormous truck
    8. Put on a leather coat and fill it with fireworks
    9. Smash it and sample it
    10. Fire it from a trebuchet (or here at Burning Man, where presumably it's performance art)
    11. Throw it down a hill
    12. Burn it and call it art (again)
    13. Pull it off the back of a moving pickup truck
    14. Drag it behind a pickup truck
    15. Chop it with an axe
    16. Hit it with a sldege hammer
    17. Throw it off a building (Warning: Video contains giggling MIT students, where they've been doing it since 1972)
    18. Bash two together
    19. Drop it off a fork lift truck
    20. Drive a car into a piano shop
    21. Blow it up
    22. In the interests of fairness, here's an organ getting smashed by giggling metal fans
    23. Use a burning acoustic guitar to set it alight
    24. Throw stuff at it
    25. Blow up a grand piano with really a lot of TNT
    Something must be done to prevent this cruelty to pianos! In a small way, maybe something has been done. The Steinway Model D has been sampled and preserved in sound in case these rare beautiful pianos become extinct from humankind's' abuses.



  2. #2

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    those poor suffering pianos!

    They had the heart of a champion *sniff*
    These sensitive eyes can watch no further


    *sniff* ....the heart of a champion

  3. #3

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Dirk View Post
    those poor suffering pianos!

    They had the heart of a champion *sniff*
    These sensitive eyes can watch no further


    *sniff* ....the heart of a champion
    Are you joking? Each and every one of them was flaunting their illegally and cruelly obtained IVORY keys!!! Just think of the money that was saved by not bothering with the judicial system: No costs for indictment, trial, or publicly funded defense counsel!

    And think of the misery that so many children will be spared by not having to endure pIaNo lessons under the tutelage of the mean MS. Grundy, the wicked witch of the west!

    Another halcyon day for insanity!


    Not.



    Joe

  4. #4

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    The college students aren't alone: Spectrasonics has a burning piano as a psychoacoustic patch in Omnisphere.

  5. #5

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    Well, I would prefer Ivory keys over plastic. Plus I'm sure some would argue Ivory keys are more environmentally friendly

    If anyone hasn't totally lost it and pushed their piano off a bridge yet - I have a nice cleaning tip. I find that baby seal fur works nicely for mopping up soda pop can rings. It also does cigarette ashes pretty good too. It's nice soft fur is really gentle on the surface of the piano. Best part is, it's re-usable. So you won't contribute to trees getting chopped down needlessly or filling up land fills with biodegradable wood fibers. But seriously, since we contributed to taking out their homelands at the poles, we mis well make good use of their fur while we still can. Just a little thump on the head with tuning fork

  6. #6

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Dirk View Post
    Well, I would prefer Ivory keys over plastic. Plus I'm sure some would argue Ivory keys are more environmentally friendly

    If anyone hasn't totally lost it and pushed their piano off a bridge yet - I have a nice cleaning tip. I find that baby seal fur works nicely for mopping up soda pop can rings. It also does cigarette ashes pretty good too. It's nice soft fur is really gentle on the surface of the piano. Best part is, it's re-usable. So you won't contribute to trees getting chopped down needlessly or filling up land fills with biodegradable wood fibers. But seriously, since we contributed to taking out their homelands at the poles, we mis well make good use of their fur while we still can. Just a little thump on the head with tuning fork


    Seems to me it would have been cheaper to just tune those pianos.

  7. #7

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Dirk View Post
    Well, I would prefer Ivory keys over plastic. Plus I'm sure some would argue Ivory keys are more environmentally friendly

    If anyone hasn't totally lost it and pushed their piano off a bridge yet - I have a nice cleaning tip. I find that baby seal fur works nicely for mopping up soda pop can rings. It also does cigarette ashes pretty good too. It's nice soft fur is really gentle on the surface of the piano. Best part is, it's re-usable. So you won't contribute to trees getting chopped down needlessly or filling up land fills with biodegradable wood fibers. But seriously, since we contributed to taking out their homelands at the poles, we mis well make good use of their fur while we still can. Just a little thump on the head with tuning fork

  8. #8

    Re: Save the Pianos!

    How come there's no video of Garritan Steinway being shredded with an industrial shredder? I'm a bit disappointed!

  9. #9

  10. #10
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    Re: Save the Pianos!

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx View Post


    1.... 26. Let Styxx play it

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