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Topic: Buyer Beware!!!

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  1. #1

    Buyer Beware!!! PIX NOW WORK!

    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS!!!

    When you go to your local software emporium or shop online, READ THE BOX CAREFULLY!!

    You may think you are getting this...a well-known piece of software, fully functional and a valuable aid in the process of music creation.




    BUT IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL, YOU MAY GET THE PIECE OF...SHOWN BELOW. THIS "EUPHWARE" TURNS EVERY PIECE YOU WRITE INTO A EUPHONIUM SOLO. It will suggest ways to make any piece you write more "euphonistic," and will force you to finish it, at which time it is emailed to Snorlax. YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE COMPUTER until SNOR-XL is pleased with your newly-created euphonium solo.



    IF YOU VALUE YOUR MUSICAL LIFE, READ THE BOX CAREFULLY NEXT TIME YOU BUY SOFTWARE.

    NOTA BENE: There is NO truth to the rumor that Snorlax pulled all legitimate copies of Sonar XL years ago and substituted boxes containing SNOR-XL. but do read the box...

    Snor.

    ...and thanx to the multi-talented GERMANCOMPONIST (Gunther) for this disturbing discovery
    Last edited by snorlax; 05-20-2008 at 11:06 PM. Reason: bad links
    Jim Williams
    Professor of Capitalism
    N9EJR
    Indianapolis Brass Choir
    All Your Bass Sus&Short Are Belong to Us.

  2. #2

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    Snor -

    No chance anyone would buy that . . . it's version 2.2, and (almost) everyone knows they're up to version 7.xx and nobody ever buys an outdated version of anything. Everyone always buys the latest-and-greatest, no matter the cost in $$$ or the cost in learning curves or time or problems introduced into the confuser.

    Besides, any discerning reader should be able to tell that it's merely a euphonism for Stonar, the sequencer/production software used by all major Lock'n'Loll bands, especially those who frequently sample controlled narcotic substances.

    Still, I wish you the best of luck with your reverse-psychology based marketing campaign. You didn't learn that from the recent coy ploy by M$ for Yohee, did you?



    Joe

  3. #3

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    Snorlax

    That's funny!!

    Man, it took me like 10 minutes to figure out what the heck you were on about.

    Awesome!

    Jonny
    For more information, check out www.jonathoncox.com/intro.html

    "The trouble with music appreciation in general is that people are taught to have too much respect for music they should be taught to love it instead." - Igor Stravinsky

  4. #4

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny Lost View Post
    Snorlax

    That's funny!!

    Man, it took me like 10 minutes to figure out what the heck you were on about.

    Awesome!

    Jonny
    Thanx, Jonny! Blame...errrrr...credit Gunther for this discovery!!
    Jim Williams
    Professor of Capitalism
    N9EJR
    Indianapolis Brass Choir
    All Your Bass Sus&Short Are Belong to Us.

  5. #5

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    Wouldn't this product be recommended for those of us who immediately leave the computer when the idea of writing for euphonium enters our mind?
    Sean Patrick Hannifin
    My MP3s | My Melody Generator | my album
    "serious music" ... as if the rest of us are just kidding

  6. #6
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    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    "EUPHWARE" TURNS EVERY PIECE YOU WRITE INTO A EUPHONIUM SOLO."

    How divine! A man will play into it, but heaven only knows what comes out.

  7. #7

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    It's okay everybody!

    I've figured out how to make a firewall to keep those euphoniums (or any other brass, for that matter) from getting through!!

    It runs at 1000 degrees centigrade though, so you might want to give yourself a little extra space around the computer.

  8. #8

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Reegs View Post
    It's okay everybody!

    I've figured out how to make a firewall to keep those euphoniums (or any other brass, for that matter) from getting through!!

    It runs at 1000 degrees centigrade though, so you might want to give yourself a little extra space around the computer.
    For those of you not worried about brass instruments, be prepared to have a fire extinguisher, most woodwinds and strings will probably catch fire when close to the fire wall.

    Euphware can be very annoying. It doesn't just suck, it blows.
    Anthony Abruscato

    "There are only two types of music: Love Songs and Pirate Music"

    HP Pavillion dv6171cl w/ Windows Vista Home Premium 64-bit, 2 GB Ram, 250 GB 5200 RPM HD + an external 300 GB HD. GPO, JABB, CAMB, Sibelius 5.1, Finale 2008a, and a demo copy of FL studio.

  9. #9

    Re: Buyer Beware!!!

    Today I have phoned with the great Cakewalk Company, and after a long talk the said that they now are thinking about chanching the name of their great sequencer from SONAR XL to SNOR XL, because they know how many many friends they have here in the best forum in the world.
    "Music is the shorthand of emotion." Leo Tolstoy

    Listen to me, tuning my triangle http://www.box.net/shared/ae822u6r3i

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