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Topic: GPO: Prayer

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  1. #1

    GPO: Prayer

    Hi gang,
    It's been a while since I've posted, like... over a year!

    Anyway, I'm looking for feedback on this piece that I wrote. I'm mainly looking for compositional feedback, I know the realism isn't the best.

    On this page are info and notes about the piece and a link to download the MP3.

    http://cptexas0.tripod.com/home/id15.html

    -Chris

    EDIT: There is now a rough score available.

  2. #2

    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Hey Chris,

    Wow, OK, I have to first state how successful you are with this work!

    The first part is very calm and I would say, traditionally perfect, in accordance with standard practice; a very GOOD thing when communicating your message!

    It is a very approachable piece. Your orchestration, cadencing, and themes are "spot on". By the way, when the brass solo comes in a "dips" a bit in the phrase chromatically - it was very cool!

    The second part did not disappoint and adds a very needed "punctuation" to your work as a whole. The fugue seemed perfect especially when the trumpet entered!; like fireworks!.

    As far as compositional feedback - wonderful! This could be studied in a theory class. Would like to see the score if possible. Also enjoyed the program notes. They are always very helpful and effective.

    Great work!

    Michael
    "...Wiktor's a Jekyll-Hyde personality..." - Lycos Music
    http://www.miserymadebeautiful.com

  3. #3

    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Mr. Chris,

    Very nice, young man! You've come a long way!

    There are some awkward places in the bass in your first part, especially when you write a first inversion from time to time. A first inversion in the bass is best used when progressing from I to IV. At other times it can weaken your chordal structure.

    Your second part is very impressive except for the ending. It is unsettling and bears no relationship to your entire work. I like your fugal chops, however.

    I am flattered that you would include me, on your website, as one of your favorite composers. Thank you.

    It's good to hear from you again. Keep up the good work and visit us often.

    Regards,

    Larry
    Larry G. Alexander
    www.alexandermusic.com

  4. #4

    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Michael,
    Thank you very much for your kind comments! It encouages me very much!

    Larry,
    You are such a wonderful, helpful guy, you know that? Thank you so much for all you do here on this forum. I really respect you and your constructive criticism.

    So, I was taking a look at my bass line in the first part, and I see exactly what you mean about the first inversion. I am trying to come up with a new bass line that stays in root position that isn't too, well, boring. The chord progression is very simple, and I tried to make the bass line interesting but instead it came out awkward. Any ideas?

    Exactly what don't you like about the ending? I can see how the very last chord could offend, but before it I thought the ending was quite fitting. I used the motives from my other themes to fit my IV I IV I ii VI cadence. The final cadence is supposed to represent an Amen, and I heared Bach use a ii VI Amen and I really liked it so I thought I'd use it. Please elaborate as to exactly what went wrong. Reworking the chords of the final cadence would be easy, so is it just that last VI that ruins everything? Maybe a (in the key of D major) G major, D major, G major, D major, Bb major, D major cadence would be better? This would give a similiar really cool sound and end on the tonic.

    Please, elaborate!

    -Chris

  5. #5
    Senior Member rwayland's Avatar
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    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Well, Chris, I have noticed your absence, and had been considering sending you an email or pm to try to wake you up or something!

    Right now, I need a nap -- I had to get up early because of an morning visit from my son. I don't usually get up before about noon, and today I was up and stirring in the middle of the night. That means 9:30 in the morning.

    I will listen to your work later this afternoon. I would find it useful if you also have a score posted somewhere.

    Richard

  6. #6

    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Very capable composing young man. Like a lot of us here, I wish I had the technology we have today back when I was your age.

    Who knows what you will see available to you in the future.

    Keep at it

    Ron

  7. #7
    Senior Member rwayland's Avatar
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    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Well, first of all, it is a beautiful piece of music. I am listening for the fifth time as I type.

    I think Larry Alexander has given a very good commentary, to which I append my thoughts.

    It feels to me that it should begin about a pp and cresc. up to the desired volume in the first bar. At the pause before the key change, a dim seems to be required, perhaps a rall.

    The final chord could be improved by a long hold and dim to almost 0.

    It would not harm the piece to add another, more solemn section. For balance, it seems to me a necessity.

    Without consideration of your age and experience, this is a good composition! I enjoyed it very much.

    Richard

  8. #8

    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Quote Originally Posted by cptexas View Post

    Larry,
    You are such a wonderful, helpful guy, you know that? Thank you so much for all you do here on this forum. I really respect you and your constructive criticism.

    So, I was taking a look at my bass line in the first part, and I see exactly what you mean about the first inversion. I am trying to come up with a new bass line that stays in root position that isn't too, well, boring. The chord progression is very simple, and I tried to make the bass line interesting but instead it came out awkward. Any ideas?

    Exactly what don't you like about the ending? I can see how the very last chord could offend, but before it I thought the ending was quite fitting. I used the motives from my other themes to fit my IV I IV I ii VI cadence. The final cadence is supposed to represent an Amen, and I heared Bach use a ii VI Amen and I really liked it so I thought I'd use it. Please elaborate as to exactly what went wrong. Reworking the chords of the final cadence would be easy, so is it just that last VI that ruins everything? Maybe a (in the key of D major) G major, D major, G major, D major, Bb major, D major cadence would be better? This would give a similiar really cool sound and end on the tonic.

    Please, elaborate!

    -Chris
    Let's see if we can prevail upon Steve Sample (sosmus) to listen to and critique your work. He is a former music professor at Alabama University and is much more knowledgeable in music theory than I am. I have contacted him.

    Larry
    Larry G. Alexander
    www.alexandermusic.com

  9. #9

    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Chris:

    Very well written and so true to its intention.

    The last contrapuntal section really describes
    glorification and exaltation.

    BRAVO, Chris

    Jack
    Jack Cannon--MacBook Pro (2015, 13") GPO4/5, JABB3, Auth. STEINWAY, YAMAHA CFX, Gofriller CELLO, Stradivari VIOLIN, COMB2, WORLD, HARPS, PIPE ORGANS, FINALE 2014.5, Mac Pro 2.66 GHz CPU, 8 GB RAM, DP 9.5, MOTU Traveler, MOTU Micro Express, MacBook Pro (2012, 13") 2.2 Ghz CPU, 8 GB RAM.

  10. #10
    Senior Member sosmus's Avatar
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    Re: GPO: Prayer

    Chris:

    I tried to listen o your work but when I clicked to download the mp3, all I got was a grayed out screen and a big white question mark.
    ??????????????????

    sosmus

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