When my mom was told she had cancer that had metastasized (sp?) and had spread all over, even to her bones, she signed herself into hospice care without any fanfare. The hospital staff told me how sweet she was, that she never complained and was grateful for all their little services and attentions.
I rushed to the hospital (from Colorado to Massachusetts), my mom knew I was there, open her eyes twice to see me, and then never opened them again. I stayed with her, sleeping on a cot next to her bed, talked to her, telling her anything I could think of that might make her transition easier (I love you and you will always be in my heart, your cat has a new home with a very lovely man, I will be OK, we'll go through this together -- I am going to stay with you all the time, it's OK to go when you feel ready, etc...).
I have been in Mass. trying to get affairs arranged, which is why I have been scarce -- so much new music up here -- everyone has been busy, evidently! Miss you all!
I am in Indiana at the moment, where my mom's body will be buried in her family plot tomorrow in a simple service (we had her memorial in Mass.). She was so sharp even on pain medicine, to the end. She planned her own service with her pastor, specifying the hymns she wanted, and said "On top of the hutch in the livingroom is a red Bible my daughter gave me for Christmas a number of years ago, and in that Bible is a little white slip of paper with 4 Bible verses on it, and those are what I want read at my service. (It was actually 3 verses -- but still. Amazing.)
It was a sacred time for me, to be with her to the end, and I felt a connection with her that was very deep. It felt very important to me to be there in time for her to know I was there with her.
Sending my love to all of you!
Love your moms and dads..... and
Keep writing all that good stuff, my friends.
I'll re-surface eventually.