I thought this may help brighten your day as it has mine earlier.
During this troubled time in our world I feel it imperative that we all take a break and give our brains a little vacation from all the worries and uncertainties we face. And brother ... I'm not immune. (What did he say?)
So buck up and stuff this in your toyky! Nuk, nuk, nuk!
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day
before Thanksgiving and
says,' I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of
misery is enough.
'Pop, what are you talking about?' the son
We can't stand the sight of each other any
longer,' the father says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of
talking about this, so you call your
sister in Chicago and tell her.'
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. 'Like heck they're
getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take
care of this,'
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her
father, 'You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get
there. I'm calling my brother
back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then, don't do a thing, DO YOU
HEAR ME?' and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
'Okay,' he says,'they're coming for
Thanksgiving and paying their own way!'
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.