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Topic: Please help me choose

  1. #1

    Red face Please help me choose

    I'm in desperate need of help! Originally this was a movement from a clarinet sonata, but my clarinet player fell through, and I decided to salvage it as a trombone piece, since my boss is a superb trombonist.

    In the process I felt that the ending was a little abrupt, and decided I wanted a little more development (plus the opportunity to make the piece just that bit more exhausting). So I've added a few bars - but now I feel that maybe the original had more impetus. It seems much more driven to its end, where the new version possibly wallows a little.

    Having listened far too much I'm too close to it to decide. So I'd appreciate any thoughts.

    I'm not particularly interested in comments about the rendering, since this is just a quick sketch. And I also know that a lot of the trills are impractical (on the clarinet it had more of a Klezmer feel - I think, on the trombone, I'm eventually going to replace the trills with multiphonic growls). I'm only interested in which version you think works best, and whether you think the new material develops naturally, or sounds completely out of context.

    Both versions are in this folder.


  2. #2

    Re: Please help me choose

    Hi, David "Pingu" - I have a theory as to why nobody has replied to your post yet - it's intimidating! It's almost impossible to give you helpful advice because a truly informed opinion would take quite a bit of time to arrive at.

    #1 thing for me is that it's difficult to know how this will actually translate to a trombone since you still have the clarinet trills in the MIDI file. It would have been helpful if the growls you want to use as trill replacements were already in the rendering, because that's going to change the nature of the piece drastically.

    I listened to them in order, and after hearing the second one - my impulse is to say I preferred the first one. But that's labeled Tromb2 - the one you were less sure about - ?

    It was almost like one of those puzzles where you're presented two pictures that look the same and you're supposed to figure out what details are slightly different between the two. I would be hard pressed, after just one listening, to say what the differences were and which one I genuinely prefer.

    I'd listen longer and try to be more helpful--but like the rest of the folks here, I gotta press on with my day!

    Pingu - this is your work, and I am sure if you relaxed your mind on the situation, took a deep breath and asked yourself, "What do I want to do with this?"--that the answer will come to you. And that answer will be the Only one of value. I think you already know - Go take a few minutes of relaxed meditation, and the answer will reveal itself to you.


  3. #3

    Re: Please help me choose

    Dramatic, powerful, driving work, David! Superb

    Quite a ride for a 'bone man, I think; yet, surely
    doable by the best players.

    As for the ending(s) -- both seem to "work"; but
    perhaps just throwing one more emphatic blat from
    the 'bone on the end might be more conclusionary.
    To my ear, it seems one beat light...?

    My best,

    David Sosnowski

  4. #4

    Re: Please help me choose

    Wow, awesome work!
    In my opinion, I would have to say - number 1.
    It seemed to suddenly fall to it's feet exhausted after such intensity. I really like that!


    "...Wiktor's a Jekyll-Hyde personality..." - Lycos Music

  5. #5

    Re: Please help me choose


    I think that this is the first time I'm listening to one of your works. I don't remember me listening anything else by you!

    This movement is fabulous and it's making me jealous! It really does! I just hope that the work will get the performance it deserves.

    On personal grounds, I'll say that I didn't spot that big a difference, but prefered the tromb2.mp3 (the first on the list). The other one seemed to drag a little too long, but of course I heard it first, so it could also be the impression if listening to a piece for the first time.

    Never the less I just wanted to congratulate you on such a wonderful composition mate! This is just awesome. And if you need any proofreading for the score, don't hesitate to ask, right?

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Re: Please help me choose

    Hi Dave,
    It seems to me that the 2nd version has more brass "licks. For the trills, maybe a combo of glissando; silence (w/piano "hits") & lip trills-not connected like the slurs could add more trombone colors-even sub-tones.
    This is great work.


  7. #7

    Re: Please help me choose

    Thanks everyone for taking the time - I really appreciate it.

    Randy - you're quite right, I made it almost impossible to comment, because I ripped the tracks from Cubase in the wrong order, then uploaded them in the wrong order, etc. Thankyou for persisting, and for your counsel - I guess I should be braver.

    David - definitely not meant for every trombonist. My boss whined the first time he heard it, but then I saw some of the parts he tackles in brass band test pieces, which made this look like a walk in the park - so I stopped feeling sorry for him. You may well be right about the extra blat. I've added one so that I hear it a few times while I'm working on it - see if it starts sounding like the right version to me.

    Michael - thanks, I'm starting to lean that way too.

    Nikolas - thanks for the praise; your opinion is one that I value a great deal now that I know your music somewhat better.

    Gary - I may well come back to you for advice. I'm not much of a brass person, and you clearly know a lot about what's idiomatic for them.

  8. #8
    Senior Member sosmus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Bellingham, WA

    Re: Please help me choose

    Some say "tamahtoe" and some say "tomaytoe."
    It is quite an exercise for a trombonist but certainly playable. As for the trills, if the trombonist is using a trombone with a trigger, a lot of the trills can be played (or faked) in the lower and middle registers. Up high, lip trills are quite accessible. Depending on the slide positions, I hear some of the slurs as being more of a problem than the trills.
    One basic premise in writing for brass is to know your performer and what his usable range (tessitura) is. Unless you're doing this for the likes of a Bill Watrous, you might want to back off a bit with those notes in the altissimo
    Good piece.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Toronto, Canada

    Re: Please help me choose

    Great piece, David. Actually, I find it hard to visualize it for the clarinet. since (notwithstanding the trills etc.), it seems so appropriate for the trombone.

    My instinct tells me I prefer the first piece (on the list), although I couldn't tell you why.

    Best Regards,


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