I'm in desperate need of help! Originally this was a movement from a clarinet sonata, but my clarinet player fell through, and I decided to salvage it as a trombone piece, since my boss is a superb trombonist.
In the process I felt that the ending was a little abrupt, and decided I wanted a little more development (plus the opportunity to make the piece just that bit more exhausting). So I've added a few bars - but now I feel that maybe the original had more impetus. It seems much more driven to its end, where the new version possibly wallows a little.
Having listened far too much I'm too close to it to decide. So I'd appreciate any thoughts.
I'm not particularly interested in comments about the rendering, since this is just a quick sketch. And I also know that a lot of the trills are impractical (on the clarinet it had more of a Klezmer feel - I think, on the trombone, I'm eventually going to replace the trills with multiphonic growls). I'm only interested in which version you think works best, and whether you think the new material develops naturally, or sounds completely out of context.
Both versions are in this folder.