Works for me! Especially in the parts where the trumpets don't play and in the higher registers, the strings work better than the piano. And the harp is a clever addition, which keeps the attack of the piano. Well, to my ears anyway.
I'm honoured that you thought my suggestion was useful. Thanks Jack.
A good job.
The trumpet articulation in the "fanfare" sectons seem to be a bit off-sound wise. In Finale, I would use a longer version of stacccato. It seems to sound better in brass.
There is a segment in the middle where there is an implied "swing" feel. You might try to make the 8ths even instead of long-short.
The piece was originally written for 2 Trumpets and Piano for students to perform at Commencement. Later, it was actually published, and has been used as a test piece in a music festival. So I think that both versions are valid, also from a practical perspective. As far as a full orchestra, David, I'll have to think about that one.