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Topic: Snorlax W.C.?

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  1. #1

    Snorlax W.C.?

    Is this pic taken in Snorlax's basement?

    In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.

    http://reberclark.blogspot.com http://reberclark.bandcamp.com http://www.youtube.com/reberclark

  2. #2

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Yeah, before the flood...

    Maybe this caused the flood, actually.

    Or maybe if I had remembered to bring my mute home, there NEVER would have been a flood.

    QUIZ TIME: This reminds me of the world's ONLY euphonium joke. Know it?

    (Hint: Benny Hill used it frequently)

    Not that anyone would make fun of a euphonium.
    Jim Williams
    Professor of Capitalism
    N9EJR
    Indianapolis Brass Choir
    All Your Bass Sus&Short Are Belong to Us.

  3. #3
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    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Looks like Snorlax was playing a clean rendition of Handel's "Water Music" again.

    Quote Originally Posted by reberclark View Post
    Is this pic taken in Snorlax's basement?


  4. #4

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Hey Snor! There are *lots* more than one euphonium joke. Heck, I would get hammered with euphonium jokes by other orchestra members all the time. They would take any disparaging joke, change the person/thing being made fun of and substitute euphonium. Problem is, it usually worked!

    Google is our friend:

    Q: What do you call a professional euphonium player who doesn't play in a military band?
    A: Unemployed.

    Q: What do you call a euphonium player with a pager and a cell phone?
    A: Optimistic.

    Q: Why was the baritone invented?
    A: Someone thought the tuba should have a baby.

    Q: How many euphonium players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: What the heck is a euphonium??

    Q: What's the grading scale for the quality of a baritone?
    A: New, Hit by Bulldozer Once, Hit by Bulldozer Twice, Good for Parts.

    Q: What do you do if you run over a baritone?
    A: Back up and hit it again, just to make sure.

    Q: What's the difference between a euphonium player and a large pizza?
    A: A large pizza can feed a family of four!

    Q: How do you keep a euphonium player in suspense?
    A: Don't bother cutting him out of the tree.

    Q: What instrument does the stupidest member of the band play?
    A: Drums, but if that's too hard, they can always try euphonium.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead euphonium player and a dead snake?
    A: The snake died on its way to a gig.

    Q: How many baritone players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: One, we think. We've never really bothered to notice when they change lightbulbs.

    Q: How do you get a euphonium player to play fortissimo?
    A: Write "pp, espressivo"

    Q: What's the difference between a euphonium and a drink machine?
    A: With the drink machine, you might actually get a Hi-C.

    Q: Why don't euphonium players play hide-and seek?
    A: Nobody would bother to look for them.

    Q: What is the difference between euphonium players and baritone players?
    A: Baritone players don't always whine about how they don't play Euphonium.

    Q: How many euphoniums does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to do breathing exercises until the room spins.

    Q: What do you call a really bad trumpet player?
    A: A treble clef baritone.

    Q: How do you get ahold of a baritone player?
    A: Eu-phone-ium.

    I don't know , but I can see the first joke being part of a Benny Hill show.

    -Kevin
    We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams …
    24" 2.4 Ghz iMac, OSX 10.4.10, MOTU 828 MKII, 2 Glyph 250 Gig external drives, Logic 9, Finale 2008 GPO, JABB, Strad, Gro, Reason 4, EWQL Storm Drum, Adrenaline, Symphonic Choirs, SO Gold,All Arturia Synths, Many NI Synths, Spectrasonics Synths, KH Strings, VEPro on a Windows 7 4x 2.8 Ghz 12 gig of RAM

  5. #5

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Oh no. I can't believe I'm gonna do this, but...

    Q: Waddaya call a euphonium player in a suit?
    A: The accused.

    Q: Waddaya call a euphonium player without a girlfriend?
    A: Homeless.

    Q: What does it mean when a euphonium player drools out of both sides of his mouth?
    A: The stage is level.

    Sorry guys, but I couldn't stop myself.
    In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.

    http://reberclark.blogspot.com http://reberclark.bandcamp.com http://www.youtube.com/reberclark

  6. #6

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Since we're on the topic of Euphonia, ...
    I'm trying my hand at a composition for brass ensemble. To keep peace within the Garritan community I though it wise to include a part for euphonium, but I've been disappointed with the results of every attempt. Now, I've heard some disparaging remarks about the quality of the GPO euphonium samples, but I've not been able to tell if this implied the presence or lack of accuracy.

    Now, this is additionally puzzling to me because I don't see euphonium in GPO. (Sibelius probably gave me a GPO tuba when I asked for a euphonium. That would explain the undesirable sound.) I'm not sure the lack of euphonium in GPO totally explains the disparaging remarks, however.

    I probably really want a Wagner Tuba but I don't see that immediately available in GPO, either.

    Pat

  7. #7

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    The euphonium samples in Concert and Marching Band work pretty well, I think. In the past I have used horn samples in the low register or tubas in the upper register to approximate a euphonium sound. If you want a solo sound, however, I think the CoMB ones work the best.

    I'll bet Snorlax has excellent insight into this!
    In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.

    http://reberclark.blogspot.com http://reberclark.bandcamp.com http://www.youtube.com/reberclark

  8. #8
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    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Quote Originally Posted by pokeefe View Post
    I've heard some disparaging remarks about the quality of the GPO euphonium samples,
    Of course there are disparaging remarks about the GPO Euphonium. Because THERE ARE NO EUPHONIUM SAMPLES IN GPO.

    If there was only a euphonium it could have been just perfect.

    ~Gary

    PS: Snorlax played euphonium in Concert & Marching Band

  9. #9

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    Quote Originally Posted by Garritan View Post
    If there was only a euphonium it could have been just perfect.
    Ah, but there those that would say absence of the euphonium IS just perfect.

    The comments I read (if based on anything at all) were probably refering to Concert & Marching Band and I just assumed they were about GPO. And my own experience was totally bogus: Sibelius gave me a GPO tuba (without telling me) when I asked for a euphonium. Of course it didn't sound right!

    Pat

  10. #10

    Re: Snorlax W.C.?

    [QUOTE=Garritan;647221
    PS: Snorlax played euphonium in Concert & Marching Band[/QUOTE]

    I see that if I use a combination of GPO and Sibelius's "Sounds Essentials" I can get Euphonium Ensemble Lite (CMB). The whole Snorlax clan in their more trim days, perhaps?

    Pat

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