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Topic: Some advice or feedback on a piece...

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  1. #1

    Some advice or feedback on a piece...

    I've been working on a Danny Elfman-esque piece for the last couple of days and this is the result.

    http://gplowman.tumblr.com/post/2736...ration-demo-ok

    I'm quite​ happy with it, but some things I'm unsure of. The structure is possibly a little haphazard, or repetitious - don't really know. I like the choir in most parts and the woods are great except I'm thinking there is an issue with the staccato attempt near the start where the woods lose a little piece of definition and get muddled.

    When I had all the middle section complete, I needed a beginning and end, and here I think it might be weakest. But I'll stop sharing my thoughts - let me know what you think.

    Most of the woods are GPO, and a lot of the percussion. Basic Steinway, celesta and other percussion elements all GPO. Xylophone etc. (I'm reacquainting myself with GPO and its versatility).

    Feedback welcomed :-)
    Website:
    www.grahamplowman.com
    YouTube Music:
    My Channel
    Twitter:
    @GPComposer
    Facebook:
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  2. #2

    Re: Some advice or feedback on a piece...

    "...Wiktor's a Jekyll-Hyde personality..." - Lycos Music
    http://www.miserymadebeautiful.com
    "...Wiktor's a Jekyll-Hyde personality..." - Lycos Music
    http://www.miserymadebeautiful.com

  3. #3

    Re: Some advice or feedback on a piece...

    Quote Originally Posted by Plowking View Post
    I've been working on a Danny Elfman-esque piece for the last couple of days and this is the result.

    http://gplowman.tumblr.com/post/2736...ration-demo-ok

    I'm quite​ happy with it, but some things I'm unsure of. The structure is possibly a little haphazard, or repetitious - don't really know. I like the choir in most parts and the woods are great except I'm thinking there is an issue with the staccato attempt near the start where the woods lose a little piece of definition and get muddled.

    When I had all the middle section complete, I needed a beginning and end, and here I think it might be weakest. But I'll stop sharing my thoughts - let me know what you think.

    Most of the woods are GPO, and a lot of the percussion. Basic Steinway, celesta and other percussion elements all GPO. Xylophone etc. (I'm reacquainting myself with GPO and its versatility).

    Feedback welcomed :-)
    WHeeeeeeeee, what fun - An Elfman-esque roller coaster ride!

    --Your last paragraph first - GREAT that you're rediscovering how super useful GPO can be, Graham.

    OK, I understand what you mean about the woods not being as staccato as you intended. With all the other sharp, attacking sound throughout, they're softer in their attacks, more mellow. But, I doubt I would've been critical about that if you hadn't brought it up. I don't think you can get the GPO woods sharper in their attack than that.

    I do think the ending is a bit of a let down. The opening seems fine, but the ending is, hmmm, what - simple and predictable, nothing special like the rest of the recording. I was hoping for something more suspended, maybe a wavering between the notes in the final chords and their neighboring half steps, choir doing some legato ghost-like warbling also - and then a stab at the end that includes tone clusters, nothing as straight as the minor chord.

    SOmething like that is what I was wanting to hear anyway.

    Spectacular recording though - Why haven't you posted this in the Listening Room also, since it uses so many Garritan instruments--?

    Randy

  4. #4

    Re: Some advice or feedback on a piece...

    Graham, I thought this was great. The structure was fine for me and I did not get any feeling of overly repetitious parts. There certainly is a repeated theme, but I think that it was appropriately used. The rendering really works well.

    Is there a way I can download the mp3 of this. I would like to know what is being done from a harmonic motion point of view to get that sound. Thanks for the post. Jay

  5. #5

    Re: Some advice or feedback on a piece...

    Thanks for the feedback all.

    Jay - Thanks for the feedback and PM me your email and I'll fire an mp3 your way.

    Randy - After I hit 'Post' I thought the same thing about the listening room. Well it's ok here for now - got some good feedback. Your comments on the ending confirm my niggling thoughts - to use a phrase I think you know well, 'Fine for now'

    I'll look to redeveloping it, I really like your suggestions on what you expected to hear, and confirms to me that my current ending is a cop-out.

    The woods attack is something I'm still not going to let lie. This is how I achieve improvements and unexpected great results at times by not giving up on the instrument samples when I'm aiming for a type of sound. I think I may be able to get the choir to behave in that more ghostly warble way - I'll take a good look at that.

    One thing I wanted to try, but wasn't having much luck, was doing a very fast choir 'la-la-la-la...' but this didn't start well as a lack of round-robin on syllables meant it sounded like a machine gun - I decided it was going to be too much trial and error for little reward so stopped trying that.

    Michael - No offense at all dude! Thanks for the feedback - it was those era's of Elfmans music that I was specifically aiming for so happy to hit that. I think he's lost an element of his distinctive sound over the years, or that is he's just grown. The cheesiness is rather apparent - too much? I was thinking anything that this style of music might have its own cheesiness as standard. Cheesy in places, or as a whole? For a game theme perhaps or something quirky and in that area might work.

    The choir is Requiem Light.
    Website:
    www.grahamplowman.com
    YouTube Music:
    My Channel
    Twitter:
    @GPComposer
    Facebook:
    Facebook

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