hey Marko. Try losing all the dashes etc in your song title. No caps, no spaces. Make sure the mp3 on your server and the address you give us match up. I\'ll be on the look out. [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]
I think you could strengthen the piece by honing your trumpet melody. Right now, it\'s more of a scale riff, with just a few variants. What happens in that scenario is that the listener is able to predict where the thing is going, so he loses interest.
A very good tool is the Hindemeth system of intervalic tension. In a nutshell, intervals from least to most tense are: Octave, P5, P4, M6, M3, m6, m3, m7, M2, M7, m2, tritone.
What you can do is shape your melody such that you use the \"tense\" intervals (varying between the open and closed versions, i.e., 3-6, 2-7, etc.) to hold the listener in a state of tension until YOU decide to release him.
Of course, you must be expressive and not purely scientific in approach, because this technique is only a tool, not a panacea. But as a diagnostic tool, it will quickly let you know where your melody is suffering. For instance, if you are constantly moving scalewise, you are keeping a constant state of tension, without variation--this in effect numbs the listener\'s physical response, and his brain tunes out unconsciously.
I think you can achieve this kind of motion, while retaining the overall dirge feel you have created. When you move to the IV towards the end, my ear responds positively. You might get that same effect earlier on using the ii, without destroying the ostinato, which works very well overall. In other words, I don\'t think you gain anything by turning the accompanying voices into a chord-fest, but you might be able to achieve some subtle shifts that could build a little more emotion.
I like the way you have used the percussive voices texturally as a counterpoint to the ostinato.
Good luck. Once you\'ve developed your melody a bit more, I\'d do a \"B\" and \"C\" section so that you can expand the piece and develop more offshoots of the basic idea. For instance, you might want to flash back to a more lifelike feeling in the B section and set up a contrast to the dirge feeling, and perhaps even programmatically illustrate some sort of \"cause of death\" in the C section to make a transition back to the dirge. I always encourage people to develop a narrative, even if that narrative is never revealed in words.
I think you used the picc sample very well. There is one slightly bumpy legato interval exposed at the top, which might respond well to a volume envelope which takes off a bit of attack.
Well, you can see I\'m in too much coffee mode. I\'ll shut up now. Good luck.
Thanks again for your comments on my piece. I think the trumpet line is pretty basic (bland even) and could really use some more development. The underlying harmonic progression should be developed more too. I think that sometimes I just fall in love with the sounds of the samples! (Perhaps I\'ll listen to Hindemith\'s Sonata for Trumpet and Piano later.)
I wonder if you would have another cup of coffee and comment on a set of pieces of mine. The instrumentation is pretty similar, but the pieces are on the whole more rhythmic. Any comments would be appreciated, but I am especially interested in what you have to say about the trumpet lines.