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Topic: Critique requested

  1. #1

    Critique requested

    Hi All,

    I\'ve done what I can with two pieces that just went live on my MP3 site. I\'ve posted about Ominosity before and using the feedback here have backed off the high end. It made a big difference in terms of fullness of sound. The Dan Dean and SAM trumpets are easier on the ears now (same with the guitar).


    In Memory of Grandma is a new one to MP3.com, but I wrote in the mid 80s. I\'ve reworked it with GOS, DDSB, Sam Horns, and Peter Seidlaszek\'s Symphonic Organ and the flute from my old Proteus 2. I\'m wondering how I could mix this better.


    It\'s not as clear as I would like. I\'m using Soundstage to place instruments in a virtual space, except those with planty of ambience already. I\'ve added just a simdgen of Sonic Timeworks 4080L reverb to sweeten the whole thing, but it lacks overall realism.

    I hope I don\'t lose any of you before the final fugue because that\'s my favorite part. Heck it\'s only 7 minutes or so. All constructive comments welcome.

    Steve Chandler

  2. #2

    Re: Critique requested


    Didn\'t spot you there (lots of new posts--bump!) I\'ll listen tonight [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  3. #3

    Re: Critique requested


    Did you listen? Has anyone listened?


  4. #4

    Re: Critique requested

    Hi pantonality,

    Here\'s my quick rough critique of \"In Memory of Grandma\":

    section 1 - I find it somewhat too \"happy\" sounding, it\'s needs more dissonance.

    section 2 - It kind of lead you nowhere, and maybe you was looking for that feeling?

    organ section - In my oppinion there is need for more contrary motion in sopran vs. bass. Also I think that the minor scale up should have half the current note values.

    fugue - It starts well, but when the trumpets come in the fugue starts to loose it\'s flight, it has to do with not so good orchestration and counterpoint \"errors\" or unimagination (?) in the free sections of the fugue.

  5. #5

    Re: Critique requested

    Hi Sharmy,

    I agree about the ambience of the snare, but that\'s Tobias\'s G-Town snare. The sound he captured is just awesome, but that\'s a hard ambience to match with plug-in reverb. The G-town anvils are also in there, but they don\'t carry the same richness of ambience that the snare does.

    As for hopelessness, yeah that was the feeling I was going for. The whole war thing is pretty ominous. I don\'t want to get overly political in this forum, but that\'s what I was trying to express in the music. You understood me perfectly.


    It\'s an old piece, and I didn\'t want to do a wholesale revision because I always liked the vibe of the fugue. Yeah there were errors in the counterpoint, but there\'s very little that\'s a free section. The theme is almost always present though sometimes inverted.

    Thanks for listening.


  6. #6

    Re: Critique requested

    I haven\'t forgotten about you there Steve! You will have my input as soon as I can, but mp3.com is behaving very badly. I try to download and then it asks me to register (which I\'ve done like 3 times!), and then it thinks about it for a while, and then it just pushes me back on your song page! My conection is really slow, so I can\'t even stream the lo-fi. On sunday I\'m going to my girlfriends and I\'ll listen. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  7. #7

    Re: Critique requested

    Hi Steve, finally got to listen.


    What I like: Definitely ominous. Lovely first sound! (the first second or two of a piece are so important!) The middle section with the guitar reminded me of the \"tiny bell trio\" free jazz band (thats a good thing), and was a strange but welcome surprise.

    What I dont: I found the poly-tonal excursion of the middle part inconsistant in its dissonance. Let me explain: my taste for dissonance is plentiful, but I like it to be introduced gradually and prepared and resolved in the classical sense. (even if the music is not tonal) But thats just my personal taste. Specifically, it sounds awkward to me for bare (5ths or 4ths) or simple triadic harmony to be followed by sharp dissonance without some kind of preparation. (or at least for dissonance to proceed in an arch shape)

    In memory of Grandma:

    What I like: Most of it actually! The main thing I admire is the fact you could maintain my interest for as long (7 minutes: I am yet to write anything longer than 1:40). My favourite part is definitely the lovely begining of the fugue. And it is greatly aided by the organ that introduces it, nice! I liked the mixture of styles, baroque and contemporary.

    What I don\'t: One particular high note in the trumpet which resolves upwards by a semitone, when to my ears it really wanted to go down. (I\'m sure you know the one I mean). As the fugue progresses, I like it less.

    Overall, I admire your originality and it made me wonder why on earth all I want to do is sound like monsieur Williams. I enjoyed the variety in textures, from very sparse to very dense. That fugue is great! I would consider rescuing just the fugue and making a piece in itself of it, with a few changes here and there.

    Hope this helps, Leon

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