I listened to you music and you have some good ideas but it seems to repeating the same motif or sort of variations of it for way too long. It becomes fatiguing for the listener. At about 5:00 it finally changes but maybe not enough and then it's back again although with some variations.
I think you have the start of something but need to really let go and experiment more, take some chances.
I'm no musical expert but just a common listener and I hope you take it as such. It's just what I feel.